110 - Awake Not Sleeping
Aug. 23rd, 2016 03:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
captain_slinkyAll day long I've had this nagging feeling that maybe I'm actually in a coma somewhere, and everything going on around me is just a series of attempts from The Real World to get me to wake up. Or maybe my dreams are just trying to get me to fall back asleep?
The radio played a series of increasingly improbable songs that provided a soundtrack for my thoughts; songs so perfectly matched to my stream of thought that I had to wonder if I had really been thinking about these thoughts before, or after, the song had started playing.
Reflecting on the coincidences of the past umpteen hours, about trying to have a Lucid Dream and then waking up to a Reddit AMA of an expert in Lucid Dreaming... and Daryl Hall came on the radio singing "You're living in dreamtime, Baby"... coincidence.
Thinking about how I couldn't remember why Sol and Brown had left, had left *me*, standing on the airfield, they told me to "wait". Do I really remember Sol putting his hand on my shoulder and pushing me back gently with his eyebrows raised in a "Trust Me" expression? How many times in the past twenty five years had I thought I saw that exact same expression looking at me through a crowd, only to get lost again? And just then I realize that Chicago is on the radio, singing "If you see me walking by, and the tears are in my eyes, look away... coincidence.
I think about how there really is a strong, definite decision to be made here. There's a reason I'm here and they're not. Like, a VERY GOOD reason. I'm here on purpose. If I think to much about what I think happened back then, how much I try to decide what was real and what was just excessive imagination, I think there's a real danger. I feel like I've been in this position before. My "Real Life" and these memories, they can't exist in the same place at the same time, or I think I might... I don't know. It's crazy. If I think too much about the *one*, the other one will be destroyed. It's very important to -
And on the radio, The Offspring sing "Gotta Keep 'Em Separated".
It's at THIS POINT that I think back about how, wow, that's THREE SONGS IN A ROW that were exactly what I was thinking about. Coincidences rarely happen in Nature.
I wonder how many times this has happened and I DIDN'T notice it?
The Offspring fade out, and Cyndi Lauper comes on, singing "Time After Time".
I'm creeped out and decide that THIS time it MUST be coincidence, Nature be damned. I force my mind into a different gear, trying to remember the name of the guy who sang this song with Cyndi Lauper. I just need to give up on the whole Lucid Dreaming thing. Saying that to myself feels right. It feels familiar. Have I said this to myself before?
TIMMY T! That was the guy's name! He had *one hit* after this duet, I loved that song! How did it go?
Dammit.
The radio played a series of increasingly improbable songs that provided a soundtrack for my thoughts; songs so perfectly matched to my stream of thought that I had to wonder if I had really been thinking about these thoughts before, or after, the song had started playing.
Reflecting on the coincidences of the past umpteen hours, about trying to have a Lucid Dream and then waking up to a Reddit AMA of an expert in Lucid Dreaming... and Daryl Hall came on the radio singing "You're living in dreamtime, Baby"... coincidence.
Thinking about how I couldn't remember why Sol and Brown had left, had left *me*, standing on the airfield, they told me to "wait". Do I really remember Sol putting his hand on my shoulder and pushing me back gently with his eyebrows raised in a "Trust Me" expression? How many times in the past twenty five years had I thought I saw that exact same expression looking at me through a crowd, only to get lost again? And just then I realize that Chicago is on the radio, singing "If you see me walking by, and the tears are in my eyes, look away... coincidence.
I think about how there really is a strong, definite decision to be made here. There's a reason I'm here and they're not. Like, a VERY GOOD reason. I'm here on purpose. If I think to much about what I think happened back then, how much I try to decide what was real and what was just excessive imagination, I think there's a real danger. I feel like I've been in this position before. My "Real Life" and these memories, they can't exist in the same place at the same time, or I think I might... I don't know. It's crazy. If I think too much about the *one*, the other one will be destroyed. It's very important to -
And on the radio, The Offspring sing "Gotta Keep 'Em Separated".
It's at THIS POINT that I think back about how, wow, that's THREE SONGS IN A ROW that were exactly what I was thinking about. Coincidences rarely happen in Nature.
I wonder how many times this has happened and I DIDN'T notice it?
The Offspring fade out, and Cyndi Lauper comes on, singing "Time After Time".
I'm creeped out and decide that THIS time it MUST be coincidence, Nature be damned. I force my mind into a different gear, trying to remember the name of the guy who sang this song with Cyndi Lauper. I just need to give up on the whole Lucid Dreaming thing. Saying that to myself feels right. It feels familiar. Have I said this to myself before?
TIMMY T! That was the guy's name! He had *one hit* after this duet, I loved that song! How did it go?
Dammit.
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no subject
Date: 2016-08-24 09:03 am (UTC)You just happen to be aware of your other selves, and are sharing information. And remembering it. Which is kind of tricky when it comes to dreams of any sort. Kudo's to you for retaining the memory of the dreams.