112 - Quick Turnaraound
Aug. 24th, 2016 10:05 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
captain_slinkyAccording to the Dream Mapper CPAP Monitoring App, I got 9.1 hours of uninterrupted, deep sleep last night - just over DOUBLE any amount of time I have been able to sleep with the CPAP mask on so far. Not sure if it was a reward or a pay-off, because I woke up thinking "Ahh, THAT'S what I needed! A decent night's sleep! Now all that Sol and Brown nonsense seems so SILLY!"
...Or is that what they WANT me to think so I'll just stay here?
*IF* I decide that the Lucid Dreaming was real, and all those things actually DID happen, and it's all not just some weird place in my brain that can't deal with The Extraordinary so it's trying to keep me sane by attributing it all to imagination... if it all really WAS... then I need to remember that Sol and Brown told me to wait here for a reason.
Of all my memories of those times, that's the one I remember the strongest. That's the one I remember like you might remember how to ride a bike - "Wait".
Is this a wake-up call, or is this a reminder to just keep waiting?
Im not sure i want to go back with Sol and Brown if this *is* real... our "Adventures" were pretty damned harrowing. We faced Evil itself in our travels, and won! Evil can't be too happy about that... I think that may have something to do with why they told me to wait, but i can't put it together properly in my head. Something doesn't want me to. Every time I think about it for more than a few seconds, a voice in my head says "That's dumb - you're just making this up". That's why it's good to type it out, so it's still there without the chance of The Censor deleting it before it sees consciousness.
DO NOT DELETE.
Something is actively trying to keep me from remembering. Is it for my own good, or for theirs?
...Or is that what they WANT me to think so I'll just stay here?
*IF* I decide that the Lucid Dreaming was real, and all those things actually DID happen, and it's all not just some weird place in my brain that can't deal with The Extraordinary so it's trying to keep me sane by attributing it all to imagination... if it all really WAS... then I need to remember that Sol and Brown told me to wait here for a reason.
Of all my memories of those times, that's the one I remember the strongest. That's the one I remember like you might remember how to ride a bike - "Wait".
Is this a wake-up call, or is this a reminder to just keep waiting?
Im not sure i want to go back with Sol and Brown if this *is* real... our "Adventures" were pretty damned harrowing. We faced Evil itself in our travels, and won! Evil can't be too happy about that... I think that may have something to do with why they told me to wait, but i can't put it together properly in my head. Something doesn't want me to. Every time I think about it for more than a few seconds, a voice in my head says "That's dumb - you're just making this up". That's why it's good to type it out, so it's still there without the chance of The Censor deleting it before it sees consciousness.
DO NOT DELETE.
Something is actively trying to keep me from remembering. Is it for my own good, or for theirs?
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no subject
Date: 2016-08-24 06:43 pm (UTC)