Halloween Costumes

[captain_slinky]

I blame my alcoholic parents for my current obsession with Halloween Costumes. Every year at around October 1st, we would start gettng the Halloween Advertisements from every Grocery and/or Drug Store with pictures of all the great costumes they had available. We would go in to town once a week, and I would stroll through the lanes upon lanes of toxic-plastic smell looking at the wonderous costumes and make-up. Every single day I would ask my parents if we could go get my costume, and every single day my parents would say "Maybe on Saturday". of course, they would go out drinkin on Friday night and have to spend all day Saturday "recovering". As a result, I usually got stuck with whatever lame-ass costume was still there (and also heavily discounted) on the morning of Halloween. So here, posted in my journal for all of humanity to see, is a list of the costumes I was PROMISED, as opposed to those that I actually *got*. Enjoy!

3 YEARS OLD: Wanted Mickey Mouse, got Mickey Mouse (this was the only time I can remember that I got the costume that I wanted, and it taught me the horrible truth about Halloween Costumes. The picture on the box led me to believe that I would magically transform in to Mickey Mouse, when in all actuality all it did was put me in a toxic-smelling plastic mask and have me wear a yellow vinyl bib with a picture of Mickey on it)

4 YEARS OLD: Wanted Spider-Man, got generic PIRATE (not even a GOOD pirate costume... it was a boxed set with a plastic pirate-face mask with a hole in the molded eye patch, and a bib with a picture of a Pirate and the word PIRATE across the top... incase there were any question as to wether or not I was a Pirate)

5 YEARS OLD: Wanted Superman, got some funky gold-plastic mask left over from mardi Gras combined witha "spooky" red sweater. "And what are *you* supposed to be, little man?" "I dunno, lady... you don't have to give me any candy. I'm sorry".

6 YEARS OLD: Wanted inflatable "Kooky Kostumes" Alien Costume (it came with a huge inflatable head that you wore strapped to the top of your own head), got my cousin Mark's old Batman Underoos, a bath-towel cape, and a mask drawn-on in cheap lipstick (My cousin Mark and i were both being watched by our Grandma that Halloween; Mark lived just a few blocks away, but I lived MILES away. I was waiting for my parents, who had gone out to get my Alien costume that they had promised me. It got later and later, darker and darker, and soon I was scared that I would not get to Trick-Or-Treat. It was my Grandma who came up with my home-made Batman costume, and my Cousin Mark took me along with him Trick-Or-Treating. it was a good night, and my parents showed up at about midnight, drunk, but with my Alien Costume. i never got to wear it.)

7 YEARS OLD: Wanted Fonzie, got no costume (my parents took me to some sort of Halloween Carnival thing at the school; they didn't think that we were supposed to wear costumes. I was the only non-costumed child there)

8 YEARS OLD: Wanted Pac-Man, got dressed up as a woman who carried around a 6-pack of empty beer bottles (the less i say about this year, the better. Everyone said i was a very convincing drunk woman).

9 YEARS OLD: Wanted Transformers, git no costume (parents "forgot" about Halloween, went to the store and bought me 4 bags of discount Halloween Candy).

10 YEARS OLD: Didn't even consult my parents this year, went as Doug McKenzie (of Bob & Doug McKenzie, The McKenzie Brothers, SCTV, Strange Brew... it's an 80's thing. John White was Bob McKenzie.)

11 YEARS OLD: The first year I was big in to making my own costumes, went as a Samurai (a bath robe, a real metal sword, bald wig with a single braid in it, and flip-flops for sandals. I was a hit!

12 YEARS OLD: THE FINAL YEAR OF TRICK-OR-TREATING! I went as a store-bought mad scientist (boxed costume, I was desperate). This is the year Greg Horack and I got mugged :(

After the, I didn't make another costume till i was out of High School. Since then I have dne some pretty nifty stuff that I'm very proud of, including Hippie Bomber, Road Warrior, and Crazy Guy With A Box on His Head :)

Comments

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Waitaminit... what did you do to the Vintage Wedding Dress that made an old lady cry??? This sounds like a story I need to hear! Tears of joy? Tears of sadness? Tears of TERROR???

..Tears of having-someone-poke-you-in-the-eye?

[spazzychic.livejournal.com]

Tears of the fact I soaked it in corn syrup/red food coloring blood. Looking back on it, it WAS a pretty dress. I was too short for it so the skirt trailed under my feet in the mud and I slashed it in a couple places with a butcher knife. Considering it was a local thrift store maybe it used to be hers...

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

...Or maybe she knew that the dress was worth thousands of dollars :(

Anyway, great costume!

[spazzychic.livejournal.com]

I was The Bride a good decade before Kill Bill.