The HELL?!?!

I can't be seeing this... this isn't happening. Is this woman really talking out of her ASS?!?!?

Norm-isms

A guy here at work does a great Norm MacDonald (Formerly of SNL News) impression. His greatest lines:

"Wednesday police arrested a French climber who called himself "The Snake Man" after he climbed up to the top of a thirty-story building. That's right folks, he climbed all the way up a building. Just like a snake."

"Mike Parrish, an Ohio fireman, has been selected as Favorite Valentine after he drove a fire truck to his girlfriend's apartment, climbed up the ladder to her window on the fifth floor and gave her flowers and a marriage proposal, which she accepted. Congratulations, Mike. And, selected as Least Favorite Valentine for the fourth time in a row, O.J. Simpson."

"Scientists have finally developed a pill which recreates the effect of being drunk without the risk of a hangover. Be forewarned, however: as a side effect, it causes massive anal bleeding."

"A new poll covering the highest paying jobs in America has revealed that "Data Services Technician" remains at the top spot for the third time in a row. However, another poll has just shown that the lowest paying job, "Assistant Crackwhore", has been replaced by a new entry, "Crackwhore Trainee".

Lennon Legend

So I've been listening to that Greatest Hits collection of Beatles tunes all day long. it's all very poppy and catchy and it's put me in a really good mood with plenty of energy (suprising considering that I only got 4 hours sleep last night). So I've listened to the CD about 8 times today, when the person I borrowed it from hands me a CD over the wall between our cubicles; it's "Lennon Legend". So I swap out the Beatles and put in Lennon, and I'm getting chills up and down my spine as John pleads with me to Imagine. Damn but this feels good! I love this song! Then, as I'm typing this, the song changes to Instant Karma and I'm just blown away. It all feels just so damn GOOD!!!

I think I've had too much Diet Mountain Dew today... that might have something to do with it...