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You can't BULLY Mother Nature!
Nov. 29th, 2006 10:56 pmGuy called in because the cable is out and he can't watch his program. Understandable, considering the ice-rain going on out there and the snow and the wind and the forces of nature conspiring against us, just anothe rline down somewhere.
But THIS guy... HE figured he could get us to change reality if he could just somehow be THREATENING enough.
Picture him as I did; he's a small, spindly man with broomstick-and-sillyputty arms sticking out of his stained Dale Ernhardt Jr Commemoritive "Muscle Shirt". A glorious blonde mullet seamlessly blends in to his mutton chops/mustache combo. A faded Confederate Flag/"The South Shall Rise Again" chest tattoo peeks playfully through the over-stretched neck hole of the shirt. He's already downed 4 of the 6 Schlitz Beers he bought himself with this weeks unemployment check, and he's got his eye on number five. He's home after a hard day's pretending to look for work and he's looking for his woman so he can either hump her or beat her - both accomplish the same desired results for him anywho. But suddenly, the Television goes blank! And now he has a choice on where he wants to take out his frustrations:
Find "The Lil' Woman", or call The Cable Company.
Well he chose calling ME, The Cable Company. So his woman owes me BIG-TIME! He harrassed me, he threatened me, me offered to make me have sex with myself...
...And then the cable came back on.
He ended the call with a hearty "You just lucked-out, BOY" and then hung up violently.
He successfully bullied nature in to calming down and giving him back his Cable Television!
But THIS guy... HE figured he could get us to change reality if he could just somehow be THREATENING enough.
Picture him as I did; he's a small, spindly man with broomstick-and-sillyputty arms sticking out of his stained Dale Ernhardt Jr Commemoritive "Muscle Shirt". A glorious blonde mullet seamlessly blends in to his mutton chops/mustache combo. A faded Confederate Flag/"The South Shall Rise Again" chest tattoo peeks playfully through the over-stretched neck hole of the shirt. He's already downed 4 of the 6 Schlitz Beers he bought himself with this weeks unemployment check, and he's got his eye on number five. He's home after a hard day's pretending to look for work and he's looking for his woman so he can either hump her or beat her - both accomplish the same desired results for him anywho. But suddenly, the Television goes blank! And now he has a choice on where he wants to take out his frustrations:
Find "The Lil' Woman", or call The Cable Company.
Well he chose calling ME, The Cable Company. So his woman owes me BIG-TIME! He harrassed me, he threatened me, me offered to make me have sex with myself...
...And then the cable came back on.
He ended the call with a hearty "You just lucked-out, BOY" and then hung up violently.
He successfully bullied nature in to calming down and giving him back his Cable Television!
