The TRUE Story of Christmas...

...As interpreted by somebody who was to figure out the story of Christmas based upon nothing more than inspecting our Christmas Tree.

Christmas is that special time when an army of Santa Claus' (Santa Cli?) and Snow Men travel along a shiny silver foil rope to deliver Santa Hats to as many Disney characters as possible.

Santa and Snowman Bless Us All!

Christmas Spoilers

I was six years old when Aaron Fowler told me the "Truth", claiming that Santa Clause was really just my parents.

At first I was shocked and impressed, but certain parts of that theory just never added up.

• My parents live in Washington, MILES away from the North Pole.
  
• I had explored every square inch of our 8 acres and found NO EVIDENCE of a tiny sleigh nor 8 tiny reindeer.
  
• They could barely afford Christmas for our little family, let alone every child in The World.
  
• My Mom was always kinda "Squigged-Out" by little people.
  
• It took our 1968 American Motors Rambler Ambassador a half hour to get in to town, how could it travel all the way around the world in just one night?
  
• My Dad looks *terrible* in Red.
  
• My Dad did indeed have a workshop, but all he had in there was fishing gear, a fridge full of Schlitz and enough wine making supplies to put Ernest & Julio Gallo to shame.

So I'm sorry, Aaron Fowler, but it would seem that you were *WRONG*!