Tales From The Cue
Jun. 11th, 2005 05:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
captain_slinkyLast night one of my very last calls was a very impatient man with a thick Russian accent. He was extremely concerned because his internet wasn't working, "Make internet to work! I NEED INTERNET!!!"
It was a simple problem, really, he just needed to powercycle his modem and his router. But all through it he was very intense and hurried, like there was a degree of urgency to this issue that my primitive mind could never grasp. At the end of the call he was, for lack of a better term, relieved. He then hung up the phone, or at least he thought he did. Must not have hit the cradle quite right, because I could still hear him in the background.
In order to increase my statistics, I decided to hit the "mute" button on my phone and finish up the notes on the account. The more time I could keep him on mute, the less time I need to stay in ACW (After Call Work) and the beter my stats look!
It was less than 10 seconds - TEN SECONDS! One-two-three-four-five-six-seven-eight-nine-TEN!!! Maybe even LESS time than that before "The Show" started. From this point, it took about 57 seconds for me to fit all the pieces of the audio puzzle together. 57 grueling, torturous seconds that shall foreve be ingrained in my mind. Let's see if you can put the pieces together faster than I did, using nothing but my thoughts from those 57 seconds:
It was a simple problem, really, he just needed to powercycle his modem and his router. But all through it he was very intense and hurried, like there was a degree of urgency to this issue that my primitive mind could never grasp. At the end of the call he was, for lack of a better term, relieved. He then hung up the phone, or at least he thought he did. Must not have hit the cradle quite right, because I could still hear him in the background.
In order to increase my statistics, I decided to hit the "mute" button on my phone and finish up the notes on the account. The more time I could keep him on mute, the less time I need to stay in ACW (After Call Work) and the beter my stats look!
It was less than 10 seconds - TEN SECONDS! One-two-three-four-five-six-seven-eight-nine-TEN!!! Maybe even LESS time than that before "The Show" started. From this point, it took about 57 seconds for me to fit all the pieces of the audio puzzle together. 57 grueling, torturous seconds that shall foreve be ingrained in my mind. Let's see if you can put the pieces together faster than I did, using nothing but my thoughts from those 57 seconds:
"Wow, he sure is glad to have the internet back!"
"Hey, I've heard that sound before... what is that?"
"Uh oh, he must have just gotten some bad news... or does he have a stomache ache?"
"What *is* that background sound? I've heard that before, I know it!"
"Whatever he ate sure must be disagreeing with him right about now... he's moaning an awful lot!"
"Oh sure! I know that background sound now! That's the unmistakeably sound of Internet Porn!"
"Oh."
"OH!"
"AAAIIIEEEEEE!!! MY EARS!!!"
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no subject
Date: 2005-06-12 07:31 am (UTC)That is so amazingly funny.
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Date: 2005-06-12 11:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-13 11:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-14 12:09 am (UTC)