captain_slinky: (Default)
[personal profile] captain_slinky
Fellows, if you're single and lookin' for a little companionship? Don't bother with singles bars, dating services or late-night phone "Chat" lines. No, if you want to get yourself a woman all you need to do is head down to the local Food Bank and take your pick.

"But Captain Slinky!" I hear you saying. "The Food Bank? Why?" Well don't take MY word for it, look at the numbers!
  • 87% of the people in line are single mothers with their kids. So right away you know she'll "put out"!
  • 42% of those single mothers are also High-School drop-outs, so you know it will be easy to "convince" them that they should get in your car!
  • 100% of them are hungry and would do anything for the price of a Happy Meal. ANYTHING.

Why continue to spend hundreds upon thousands of dolars every month on Escorts and other companions when you can get the same services at a fraction of retail cost?

Date: 2006-09-21 07:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] agelesseuridice.livejournal.com
you are a sick sick man....














umm do you know of a food bank around here?

Date: 2006-09-21 08:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nani-ka.livejournal.com
There's one in the University District on 50th between 15th NW & University Way...

Date: 2006-09-21 08:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] captain-slinky.livejournal.com
"Hey baby, how ya doin'? What's that you say? Oh, this? It's nothing, really... just a individually-wrapped slice of Kraft Processed Cheese. Uh huh... tha's right... you roll with me, this is how I roll baby."

Date: 2006-09-21 04:17 pm (UTC)

Date: 2006-09-21 10:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] captain-slinky.livejournal.com
Not only is id "Whack", but it's also "totaly Dope"!

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