Feeling MUCH better now!

[captain_slinky]

Instead of walking during my lunch, I decided to have a heaping helping of Crybaby-time int he car while I talked with khristle over the phone. I have no idea why I ever choose to bottle-up my frustrations instead of just telling them to her! I guess I just want to spare her from trying to bear the cross that I must carry? Wouldn't I make a GREAT Martyr? Book me NOW for YOUR next gathering of Zealots!

Before lunch I couldn't even bring myself to open any of my Free Comic Book Day comics, and now I'm half-way through my third one!

Seems that you store a lot of hormones in yoru fat, and when you lose a lot very rapidly? You get kinda...PEE-EM-ESSY.

WOW!

So THAT'S how it is for you Gals? You just cry and cry till you finally calm down enough to read a comforting magazine (Spider-Man is every bit as good as Vogue or Oprah Magazine, right?)

And to top it all off, I'm enjoying a 90-calorie snack-pack of organic chocolate cookies!

SO where do I go to collect my honorary Vagina and lactating breasts?

Comments

[teegin.livejournal.com]

Sorry bro didn't mean to ditch ya at work today. Sounds like it was a rough one. You'll be proud of me though I did make it to Comic Stop for my free comics.

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Hey, at least you not being there emant I had a whole empty row to cry in!

Also, HOORAY FOR FREE COMICS! Did you get all of 'em, or just a few?

[teegin.livejournal.com]

I think I got all the free ones. Plus I bought one spoils booster part 2. I've also made a Gearsmith/Arcanist deck to try out.

[agelesseuridice.livejournal.com]

I know a F2M that would be happy to give you his...;)

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

I was kinda thinking that when my time comes, I'd just go with the "Psycho Killer Stitching Together The Skins Of His Victims In To The Perfect Female Bodysuit For Wearing Around The House" option. So much cheaper...

[agelesseuridice.livejournal.com]

sure you can do that, but remember, you get what you pay for...

[sasjhwa.livejournal.com]

Isn't that why you are losing weight? Those Perfect Female Bodysuits don't come in many sizes after all. :D

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that was the whole problem; in order to make it proportionate "Perfect Woman Body Suit", I was having to seek out larger and larger women. By the time I was 3/4 of the way done I just had to step back, take a deep breath and say "My gawd this is MADNESS! It's now less of a Body Suit and more of an exo-skeleton MARRIONETTE of some sort thanks to all the pulleys and suspension cables!

So I scratched that idea all together.

[closer-to-fine.livejournal.com]

Whoa there, cowboy. I think the ladies would agree that you'll have to suffer a bit more before earning the honorary vagina and matching set.

Try crying and freaking right out at people for a week accompanied by completely irrational thoughts of rage and destruction, while said breasts ache like a motherfucker. Then, experience one period where the cramps put you in a fetal position and the heaviness of bleeding makes you afraid to leave the house. Then add a few more nasty and uncomfortable things I won't mention here out of propriety.

THEN we'll talk. :)

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Feh... just like a woman! Can't take a little discomfort once in a while!

I... I'm kidding, of course... please don't kill me?

[closer-to-fine.livejournal.com]

Hah! I won't have to kill you- just tell khristle what you said and I'm sure she'll do the job *for* me.

You men have no idea just how good you have it. :)

[nani-ka.livejournal.com]

I've had good results with sitting in the bathtub with the shower running & crying... Oh, and there's the sulking in the bottom of the closet on a pile of laundry. Then, OOH! the bit where you do the dishes, as loudly as you can manage. And the one where you refuse to speak for 48 hours. (doesn't work too well in a callcenter gig, but i've made it work.) And don't forget the bit where you sit on the couch covered in cats watching the bad movies out of the Hallmark On Demand section...

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

I think I've done each and every one of those things this past two weeks! So I'm doing it all correctly... *WHEW*~!

[schizoauthoress.livejournal.com]

I'd say you'd have to consume mass amounts of chocolate and lounge on the floor feeling sick and hating yourself, but I wouldn't want you to backslide with the weight thing...

Well on your way to womanhood

[abandonada.livejournal.com]

You are hilarious! Do you ever write? Besides LiveJournal entries?

Re: Well on your way to womanhood

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I used to write a series of humorous low-carb articles for CarbSmart.com back when I was on Atkins, but the editor totaly butchered most of it. It's good readin', though :)

I just checked and YES! They still have my articles! Feel free to enjoy!

http://www.carbsmart.com/lowcarcrusco.html

Re: Well on your way to womanhood

[sasjhwa.livejournal.com]

First let me say, I am skinny. I always have been and likely always will be. I've put on a couple inches as I've neared midlife but nothing Atkins needs to concern himself with.

I read your articles about weight loss and I really related to them. You were able to reach past the issue of weight loss and speak to the Everyman. I'm sure the target audience got a lot out of them, but others did too, including this skinny kids from the mean streets of Anacortes.

I have read a lot of writers' work. I've edited more than I can count. Yours seems easy and light and hits home with a wide audience. I have mentioned after reading your work comments that you should write a book. Honestly, I think you are in the wrong career. Dave Berry would never work in a call center. You are quality.

And you used "seriously pummel about the head and shoulders" in an article that was published. (http://www.carbsmart.com/handydandy.html) That is one of my all time favorite quotes from any tv show, movie, book, or cultural phenomenon! No one ever gets it when I say it. But you do. May I just say that right now, you are like two steps away from godhood to me? Old Chum.

Re: Well on your way to womanhood

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Wow... thank you so very much! That really means a lot coming from one of the most talented and creative writer/artist folks I've ever known!

Back when my articles were written, I *was* seriously persuing a life as a writer. It just wasn't steady enough of an income to do anything like pay the rent, purchase ramen noodles or even buy the bare MINIMUM amount of Comic Books that a person of my stature needs to stay healthy :(

[supernovame.livejournal.com]

i missed free comics!!! Dang. Next year we have to plan ahaead to have someone kick me out of bed or something, like a buddy system thing ya know.

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Will do!