In Defense of The Floater
Sep. 27th, 2007 12:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
captain_slinkySure it *seems* disgusting and inconsiderate of somebody to have not flushed the toilet after having taken a dump in a public place, but THINK about it...
This person... this MYSTERY person who used the restroom before you. He (or she) just spent the better part of an HOUR pushing and squeezing that massive load in to the crapper. And in a PUBLIC PLACE no less! Such a work of art must have caused a lot of sweat and grunting... maybe even a high-pitched "EeeeeeeeeEEEE!" here and there! The Floater that inspired this particular post was a true beauty; 4-inches long and as big around as my WRIST. That HAD to HURT! The man who left that beauty surely didn't walk out of the stall on his own legs. I imagine that some of his friends had to be called to carry him out like one of the Firemen on 9-11. Smoke, sweat, dirt and tears streaming down his face, asking if there were any other survivors...
That turd isn't just an inconvenience... it's a Monument to all those who didn't make it out in time. So before you flush, take a moment to salute that magnificent bastard. Then flush again. Then flush again. Then consider possibly just doing your business over the top of it because after all it's just poop and if my poop touches someone else's poop then what's the big deal? Then flush again because it's kinda gross no matter how you try and rationalize it. Then go and find a different stall.
This person... this MYSTERY person who used the restroom before you. He (or she) just spent the better part of an HOUR pushing and squeezing that massive load in to the crapper. And in a PUBLIC PLACE no less! Such a work of art must have caused a lot of sweat and grunting... maybe even a high-pitched "EeeeeeeeeEEEE!" here and there! The Floater that inspired this particular post was a true beauty; 4-inches long and as big around as my WRIST. That HAD to HURT! The man who left that beauty surely didn't walk out of the stall on his own legs. I imagine that some of his friends had to be called to carry him out like one of the Firemen on 9-11. Smoke, sweat, dirt and tears streaming down his face, asking if there were any other survivors...
That turd isn't just an inconvenience... it's a Monument to all those who didn't make it out in time. So before you flush, take a moment to salute that magnificent bastard. Then flush again. Then flush again. Then consider possibly just doing your business over the top of it because after all it's just poop and if my poop touches someone else's poop then what's the big deal? Then flush again because it's kinda gross no matter how you try and rationalize it. Then go and find a different stall.
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Maybe it's just a giant Baby Ruth
Date: 2007-09-27 08:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-27 09:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-27 10:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-28 01:59 am (UTC)