When Good Ideas Go Bad

[captain_slinky]

Molly kept me up till 3:30am last night. Sure, it was nice to get to see all the Adult Swim cartoons again, but i had prepped myself for an 8:30pm Bed Time!

Anywho, she's got a pretty bad Diaper Rash going on right now. being the SMART Daddy that I am, i decided to put the tub of Desitin (a diaper rash ointment) on my night stand last night. That way, when she woke up at 7am and i was still fast asleep, I could just change her diaper right there in bed. Remove diaper, slather butt, re-diaper, roll over, fall back asleep for a grand and glorious 3 more hours of sleep.

at 6:45am I woke up to take a dump. I quietly left the bedroom with Molly sleeping soundly in her place on the bed. I grabbed the latest issue of Wizard Magazine and proceeded in to The bathroom for a little bit of Daddy Time; the best time of the day. 6:45am is the only time I can go to the bathroom without an entourage of child and kitties.

I came back to the bedroom at 7:00am (it was a short article; mostly pictures) to discover THIS waiting for me:




"Paparazzi! I hate you people! Why can't you just leave us alone???"

I was downright amused till I saw that she had managed to get a good coating of Desitin on EVERY SINGLE BLANKET, SHEET AND PILLOW CASE. Oh, okay, I'm still pretty darned amused :) So I stripped her out of her wet and greasy clothes and got her straight in to the bath, where i made an interesting discovery.

See, the thing about Desitin, the thing that makes it 8really* effective? is that it's oil-based and therefore waterproof. You can scrub and scrub all you like with hot soapy water, but this stuff has been chemically engineered to stay on a urine-soaked butt with the constant rubbing of super-absorbent diapers trying to get it off. A Mickey Mouse Washcloth and some Baby So Clean Shampoo isn't going to even come CLOSE to getting it off!

Not to say we didn't try.

Managed to rub the vast majority of the stuff off, though, except for the amount that wa sin her hair. All in all, a pretty interesting morning!

Comments

[strryeyedgrrl.livejournal.com]

Dawn dish soap. Remember that commercial where they use it to get the oil off birds? Well, that's what I remembered when I was in a similar situation.

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

That picture is PRICELESS!!! The mood... the tone... the facial expresion and body language all says "I really thougth it was a good idea and it was fun, but now I'm not so sure any more"

[strryeyedgrrl.livejournal.com]

Ah yes, this will be mounted on walls when she's a teenager. I love the expression, too. Although I think she was more pissed that I wouldn't let her out of the car seat until the bath was ready.

That was my first call to Poison Control, too.

[pastilla.livejournal.com]

What really cracks me up is that you pulled out your camera. So often we mummies go into intense fix-it mode and forget to see the humor in these sorts of moments . . . and they should be preserved for all eternity.

[strryeyedgrrl.livejournal.com]

I think it helped that there was nothing I could do to fix it right away. Hubby was drawing a bath and there was no way I was letting her loose from her car seat in the house.

However, one of my first thoughts was "I need to take pictures of this and post it on LJ." :D

Oh, yeah...

[bghsmith.livejournal.com]

Nothing gets that stuff off! Not baby soap, not Softsoap, not dish soap or even laundry soap.

I swear it took 6 months of a smear of it to come out a shirt I got that it on.

Re: Oh, yeah...

[strryeyedgrrl.livejournal.com]

Really? After nothing worked to get it out of our daughter's hair, I finally tried Dawn and it came right out.

[lotski.livejournal.com]

OMG! That's what I have to look forward to with when I have kids?! YIKES...lol! The pictures are priceless, think when she's 16 you can bust those out and show her boyfriend, Mwahahahaha, I'm so evil!

[greenpear.livejournal.com]

Better you than me...

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

I have to disagree with you there. Yup, I'm pretty sure I would have preferred that it happened to *you* :P

[thecookielady.livejournal.com]

I find this humorous for 2 reasons.

1) Because my mother loves to tell a little story of a 2 year old me with a glowing head and hands. Seems I had a thing for frosted lipstick and smeared it allllllll over my head. Because it was frosted pink, it was hard for her to tell what I'd done. Just that something was "very different... Very wrong."

And

2) Because I once found my 2 year old Kaiti in the living room covered head to toe with a Crisco stick (remember those? Do they still make them?)

It was butter flavored. I know this because, once again, with the color it was hard to tell anything was wrong when I walked in the room. But I could *smell* butter.

She managed to get ahold of one from the pantry and completely covered herself and our vinyl recliner. The recliner was easy to clean. Hot, soapy water and a good scrubbing took care of that one.

As for Kaiti, welllll.... I couldn't get the water hot enough to cut the grease. She was shiny for about a week. Good thing she didn't have any hair to speak of.

She also smelled quite a bit like butter for about a month. It was interesting though. Everytime I was near her I had this desire to bake cookies...

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Mmmmmmmmm... my favorite after-school snack as a kid! A loaf of Wonder Bread and a tub of Butter Flavored Crisco!

[sasjhwa.livejournal.com]

And you wonder why you have problems now! :D

[schizoauthoress.livejournal.com]

Thanks for confirming yet again that I am ill-equipped, patience-wise, for children! ^_^b

[pipermage452.livejournal.com]

Priceless. Just priceless. Best start on that scrapbook, she'll love it when she gets older.

[lynna12000.livejournal.com]

I am SO glad I've managed to avoid producing off-spring. Had I done so, I just KNOW that said off-spring would be capabale of completely out doing your childs prodigious accomplishments. But hey, at you won't be worrying about that diaper rash anytime soon.

[why-in-the-heck.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, I've been there. It took me a full 20 minutes just to get it off his hands; I can't imagine a full-body coating :P