captain_slinky | How it's gonna go down tonight

In an actual fight, I think it would go down as one of the greatest battles ever.

In the one corner we've got John McCain, Ex-POW War Hero with the build of a brawler. Brian Dennehy in the Chuck Norris roll of "Braddock: Missing in Action III".

In the other corner there's Barack Obama, young and spry, street-smart ('cuz all colored folk have Street Smarts, right?) with a Charisma that makes people blindly follow him. He's Wesley Snipes as Jesus.

We can assume that The ObamArmy of zealots would be killed as they are attempting to devour the flesh of Sarah Palin, who would keep her finger on the trigger for as long as possible, mowing down the crowd with curtain after curtain of hot lead. In the end, the few survivng ObamArmy Zealots would be taken out with a strategically placed hand grenade that would be found as they try to move her motionless corpse - mutual annihilation.

Then all that's left is McCain and Obama on a mountain top, exchanging blows. Obama's all over the place, weaving and dodging in a Judo-esque fighting style that is more about using his opponents strength to subdue him rather than actually doing any harm. McCain throwing thunderous punches straight out of a Jack Kirby illustration that could knock over an entire building, but never making contact.

The fight goes on for MONTHS.

Finally, in the end, McCain clutches his chest and collapses from a Heart Attack.