Not The Band

[captain_slinky]

So it's not my Lap band! i didn't screw things up! I can stop being full of self-hatred and start focusing on the mystery of WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?!

Next stop is on Friday; They'll scan my tummy to see if it's my Gall Bladder!

Meanwhile, now that I know it's not my heart and not my Lap Band I feel that I can just get on with my life and deal with the pain, letting it build and making sure to let everybody know just how much of a self-sacrificing martyr I *truly* am :)

Comments

[cast-aspersions.livejournal.com]

this might sound ridiculous, but... what is a lap band?

[cast-aspersions.livejournal.com]

oh wait i googled it!

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

It's short for Laproscopic Band. In a nut shell, I have an inflatable donut around the top of my stomach (on the inside) that can be inflated and deflated by a doctor to limit the amount of food I can eat in one sitting. It usually keeps me somewhere below 1-and-a-half cups worth of food per meal, or half of a Fast Food Kid's Meal. If I eat more than that one a regular basis, I take the chance of either (a) making the band slip too low on my stomach or (b) stretching out the part of my stomach that all the food is kept in. If i had done that, it would mean another surgery to have them rip the whole thing out at the cost of several tens of thousands of dollars :(

As far as weightloss is concerned, it's one step crazier than The Atkins Diet but one step LESS crazy than a Gastric Bypass.

My wife and i both got The lap Band about a year ago, I've dropped over a hundred pound and she has dropped about 80.

I hope this helps!

[cast-aspersions.livejournal.com]

your response was, by far, more informative than what i read on the internet.

thank you.

and congratulations on your weight loss!

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Thenkyew :)