Not The Band

[captain_slinky]

So it's not my Lap band! i didn't screw things up! I can stop being full of self-hatred and start focusing on the mystery of WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?!

Next stop is on Friday; They'll scan my tummy to see if it's my Gall Bladder!

Meanwhile, now that I know it's not my heart and not my Lap Band I feel that I can just get on with my life and deal with the pain, letting it build and making sure to let everybody know just how much of a self-sacrificing martyr I *truly* am :)

Comments

[nani-ka.livejournal.com]

Well, this way you can burst into tears randomly & not have to fall back on the old excuse that its the hormones....

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Hey, only sort of related... have you got your Half-a-cow yet? Because if this *is* a Gallbladder issue and they have to operate on me, I'll have a bunch of chicken and pork that I'll need to trade for Beef once I'm out. Who would have thought that Chicken and pork would be the BAD meats???

Chicken Bad?!?!?!?!?

[nani-ka.livejournal.com]

That's just wrong.

*IF* we are first on the list, it'll be the week after Thanksgiving. If not, more like mid/late-December.

And, if that's the case, i'm guessing you're definitely in for next year's half cow?

Re: Chicken Bad?!?!?!?!?

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Yup! Assuming I can come up with the cash via Ebay. C'mon, ECONOMY!!!

Re: Chicken Bad?!?!?!?!?

[nani-ka.livejournal.com]

I'll just have to show up at your new house & do a "Green" makeover or something, so you can afford to save up the money before next December...

[nani-ka.livejournal.com]

wait... that means

NO BACON!?!?!?!?!?

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

I'll be investing heavily in Bacon Salt this coming year...

[greenpear.livejournal.com]

The Gall Bladder can really make your stomach/heart area feel awful.

I know...

[cast-aspersions.livejournal.com]

this might sound ridiculous, but... what is a lap band?

[cast-aspersions.livejournal.com]

oh wait i googled it!

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

It's short for Laproscopic Band. In a nut shell, I have an inflatable donut around the top of my stomach (on the inside) that can be inflated and deflated by a doctor to limit the amount of food I can eat in one sitting. It usually keeps me somewhere below 1-and-a-half cups worth of food per meal, or half of a Fast Food Kid's Meal. If I eat more than that one a regular basis, I take the chance of either (a) making the band slip too low on my stomach or (b) stretching out the part of my stomach that all the food is kept in. If i had done that, it would mean another surgery to have them rip the whole thing out at the cost of several tens of thousands of dollars :(

As far as weightloss is concerned, it's one step crazier than The Atkins Diet but one step LESS crazy than a Gastric Bypass.

My wife and i both got The lap Band about a year ago, I've dropped over a hundred pound and she has dropped about 80.

I hope this helps!

[cast-aspersions.livejournal.com]

your response was, by far, more informative than what i read on the internet.

thank you.

and congratulations on your weight loss!

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Thenkyew :)

[teegin.livejournal.com]

Maybe thats just how skinny people feel. Our fat man is becoming a skinny man, i'm so proud. Soon we can have a coming out party for him. our lil' man all grown down. On a serious note are you sure you don't just need to let the mother of all farts rip and a good burp chaser? I know that always makes me feel better.

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

A man from The County Fire District came by and posted warnings about no open flames within 4 blocks of our apartment... I've been burping and farting like a cow full of Ex-Lax since this all started!

[thecookielady.livejournal.com]

If it is your gall bladder, do yourself a favor and invest in something called AF Betafood. You may be able to find it at a health food store, but I couldn't find it locally and ended up ordering online.

Several years ago when they wanted to take my gb out I looked for other routes. My mom's woowoo doctor (for lack of better term.. he's alternative medicine) prescribed this stuff, 3 or 4 pills, twice a day.

When I had the ultrasound that found the blockage, the docs at Bremerton Naval said it was the worst case of gallstones they'd seen. A month after taking this stuff, they said they must have mixed my test results with someone else because I don't have gallstones.

Look at it this way.. if it works, it saves you money and recouperation time. If it doesn't, you're not out much. And you'll know if it's helping within a couple days.

I just really hate the idea of having it taken out. It causes so many other problems. Just ask my mom :/

Good luck to you :)

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Hmmmm... thanks! What other problems does it cause?

[thecookielady.livejournal.com]

Well, the gall bladder's primary function is to screen out grease (in simplified terms. I'm sure it's more complicated than that, but I'm pressed for time). The most common side effect to removal is weight gain. Then there's bowel/stomach problems.

My mom has had terrible problems with intestinal issues since her removal in 99. There's no notice.. She has to go NOW. And there's no holding it to find a restroom, either. Can be rather embarrassing.

I read this & found it funny how familliar it sounded...

[nani-ka.livejournal.com]

Researchers believe that gallstones may be caused by a combination of factors, including inherited body chemistry, body weight, gallbladder motility (movement), and perhaps diet. Additionally, people with erythropoietic protoporphyria (EPP) are at increased risk to develop gallstones.[1]

Cholesterol gallstones develop when bile contains too much cholesterol and not enough bile salts. Besides a high concentration of cholesterol, two other factors seem to be important in causing gallstones. The first is how often and how well the gallbladder contracts; incomplete and infrequent emptying of the gallbladder may cause the bile to become overconcentrated and contribute to gallstone formation. The second factor is the presence of proteins in the liver and bile that either promote or inhibit cholesterol crystallization into gallstones.

In addition, increased levels of the hormone estrogen as a result of pregnancy, hormone therapy, or the use of combined (estrogen-containing) forms of hormonal contraception, may increase cholesterol levels in bile and also decrease gallbladder movement, resulting in gallstone formation.

No clear relationship has been proven between diet and gallstone formation. However, low-fibre, high-cholesterol diets, and diets high in starchy foods have been suggested as contributing to gallstone formation. Other nutritional factors that may increase risk of gallstones include rapid weight loss, constipation, eating fewer meals per day, eating less fish, and low intakes of the nutrients folate, magnesium, calcium, and vitamin C.[2] On the other hand, wine and whole grain bread may decrease the risk of gallstones.[3]

Symptoms

Gallstones usually remain asymptomatic initially.[5] They start developing symptoms once the stones reach a certain size (>8mm).[6] A main symptom of gallstones is commonly referred to as a gallstone "attack", also known as biliary colic, in which a person will experience intense pain in the upper abdominal region that steadily increases for approximately thirty minutes to several hours. A patient may also encounter pain in the back, ordinarily between the shoulder blades, or pain under the right shoulder. In some cases, the pain develops in the lower region of the abdomen, nearer to the pelvis, but this is less common.[citation needed] Nausea and vomiting may occur.

These attacks are sharp and intensely painful, similar to that of a kidney stone attack. One way to alleviate the abdominal pain is to drink a full glass of water at the start of an attack to regulate the bile in the gallbladder, but this does not work in all cases.[citation needed] Another way is to take magnesium followed by a bitter liquid such as coffee or swedish bitters an hour later.[citation needed] Bitter flavors stimulate bile flow.[citation needed] A study has found lower rates of gallstones in coffee drinkers.[7]

Often, these attacks occur after a particularly fatty meal and almost always happen at night. Other symptoms include abdominal bloating, intolerance of fatty foods, belching, gas, and indigestion. If the above symptoms coincide with chills, lowgrade fever, yellowing of the skin or eyes, and/or clay-colored stool, a doctor should be consulted immediately.[8]

Info gakked from wikipedia, of course... Have you been craving beets lately?