Why am I feeling better, but not any better?

[captain_slinky]

It's scary how much of my illness is psychological. And I *know* it's all in my head, too, even when it's happening!

When it was possibly my heart or my Lap Band, those things seemed URGENT. It was a rush to the emergency room and an emergency trip to see Dr. Billings to make sure I wasn't gonna die. But once those two things were taken off the table, I suddenly felt great! None of the symptoms were gone, but somehow now I could deal with them. They're not even gonna check for Gallstones till FRIDAY? Must not be very bad, then... if it were bad I would have been RUSHED to the hospital IMMEDIATELY, right?

So last night I did as good as I could. And it was weird. All the pain and dizziness and nausea was still there... headache still drilling my head, chest still tight and breath getting shorter every time I stood up... but because it wasn't so "Life Threatening" any more I just kinda ignored it.

But today the nausea is REALLY kicking in. Not hungry any more, that's for sure :( I hope I can get back to wherever I was last night with this so i can just get something DONE.

Comments

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Well see, I *had* both at once! I think I'm much better with REAL pain because i can just try to man-Up and say "Stop being such a PUSSY! You're a MAN! SUCK IT UP!!!" and basically shame myself in to working around the pain. But In My Head pain makes me doubt myself. It makes me say stuff like "OH CRAP! i can't do that... what if it's my HEART? I need to go sit down and relax... i don't want to have my heart burst! Ooh! I can feel it going now! Here it comes!"