HAPPY UNDEAD BUNNY DAY!!!
Apr. 20th, 2003 08:22 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
captain_slinkyI hope you're all having a wonderful Easter! But let's not forget the *reason* for this holiday...
Everyone thought the Easter Bunny was dead after the crusifiction, and his body was sealed in a cave with tons of plastic easter grass. But somehow, the Easter Bunny came back to life and escaped the cave! Now roaming the world as one of the legions of the Undead (like a Vampire), he would turn his victims in to a chocolate statue of himself just by looking at them (like MEDUSA)! The people were terrified! Luckilly, The Power Rangers found out that The Easter Bunny was allergic to eggs. So to trick the bunny in to eating eggs, they spent all night dying eggs different pastel colors so they would look like HUGE M&M candies! Once the bunny realized he was actually eating EGGS, it was all ready to late. Like a sceene out of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, the Easter Bunny died in a puff of smoke and goo. Adn to this day, we still cellebrate his death!
Oh, and a long-haired carpenter from Nazareth came back, too. But mostly, it's about the bunny.
Everyone thought the Easter Bunny was dead after the crusifiction, and his body was sealed in a cave with tons of plastic easter grass. But somehow, the Easter Bunny came back to life and escaped the cave! Now roaming the world as one of the legions of the Undead (like a Vampire), he would turn his victims in to a chocolate statue of himself just by looking at them (like MEDUSA)! The people were terrified! Luckilly, The Power Rangers found out that The Easter Bunny was allergic to eggs. So to trick the bunny in to eating eggs, they spent all night dying eggs different pastel colors so they would look like HUGE M&M candies! Once the bunny realized he was actually eating EGGS, it was all ready to late. Like a sceene out of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, the Easter Bunny died in a puff of smoke and goo. Adn to this day, we still cellebrate his death!
Oh, and a long-haired carpenter from Nazareth came back, too. But mostly, it's about the bunny.
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no subject
Date: 2003-04-20 09:21 am (UTC)Actual bumper stricker:
"Jesus gave his blood for you...
and he wants it all back now!"
Re:
Date: 2003-04-20 01:43 pm (UTC)Hail to the King, baby
Date: 2003-04-20 09:28 am (UTC)Jesus said "Love thy neighbor." Elvis said "Don't be cruel."
Jesus is the Lord's shepherd. Elvis dated Cybill Shepherd.
Jesus was part of the Trinity. Elvis' first band was a trio.
Jesus walked on water. Elvis surfed (Blue Hawaii, 1965).
Jesus' entourage, the Apostles, had 12 members. Elvis' entourage, the Memphis Mafia, had 12 members.
Jesus was resurrected. Elvis had the famous 1968 "Comeback" TV special and many posthumous mall sightings.
Jesus said "If a man thirst, let him come to me, and drink." (John 7:37). Elvis said "Drinks on me" (Jail House Rock, 1957).
Jesus fasted for 40 days and nights. Elvis also had irregular eating habits (eg, 5 banana split breakfast).
Jesus is a Capricorn (Dec 25). Elvis is a Capricorn (Jan8).
Matthew was a biographer of Jesus. Neil Matthews was a biographer of Elvis (A Golden Tribute).
"Jesus countenance...like lightning...raiment snow white." (Matthew 28:3) Elvis wore snow white jumpsuits with lightning bolts.
Jesus lived in a state of grace in a near-eastern land. Elvis lived in Graceland in a nearly eastern state.
Jesus' mother Mary had an immaculate conception. Elvis' wife Priscilla went to Immaculate Conception H.S.
People called Jesus a "...glutton and a drunk." (Luke 7:34) People called Elvis "...an overweight druggie...".
Jesus died for us. Young girls would 'die for' Elvis.
Jesus was born in humble surroundings. Elvis was born in Mississippi.
Even today Jesus has a cult following. Even today Elvis has a cult following.
Jesus was called "King of Israel.." (John 12:13) Elvis was called "King of Rock n' Roll".
Was Elvis the 20th-century re-incarnation of Jesus? Hey, decide for yourself.....
Re: Hail to the King, baby
That's it! You are both going straight to Hell! Undead bunnies and comparing Elvis to Jesus, you'd think religion liked humor or something.
Re: Hail to the King, baby
Date: 2003-04-21 06:08 pm (UTC)Re: Hail to the King, baby
Date: 2003-04-21 10:22 pm (UTC)But the BEST part is who you are in that waiting room with! It's the boyfriend or girlfriend of you BEST friend... the one that you *really* hated, but always had to be nice to because he or she was going out with your best friend. And he or she has no idea that the two of you are in Hell. They just think that they're waiting with you for a similar thing.
Re: Hail to the King, baby
Date: 2003-04-22 04:08 am (UTC)Re: Hail to the King, baby
Date: 2003-04-22 09:41 am (UTC)