AMERICAN PARENTING NIGHTMARE!

[captain_slinky]

While watching Modern Family tonight, Molly asked us the question that popular right-wing media has taught me that all good parents dread; she asked "What does GAY mean?"

To paraphrase talking points recycled from the past twenty-some years of everything from Don't-Ask-Don't-Tell to Prop 8, what am I supposed to say when my child asks me that question? What am I supposed to say???

I told her "Gay mans when a boy loves a boy or a girl loves a girl".

"Oh, okay." And back she went to watching the show.

OMG THEY WERE ALL SO VERY RIGHT ABOUT THIS NIGHTMARE!!! WHEN DOES IT ALL END???

Comments

[lynna12000.livejournal.com]

I think you handled it brilliantly. A simple answer to a simple question

[aurora77]

And she's not suddenly wearing purple and rainbows and trying to kiss the girls? But, but that's what they say will happen!

I've known someone to explain cross-dressing very straightforward and simply to a kid, ("some men like to wear dresses and feel pretty, just like some women like to wear dresses and feel pretty") and they basically responded the same. If you don't treat it like a big deal, kids don't usually either. They don't pick up on the greater ramifications of the simple answer for a long time. And when they do, they'll start to ask those questions, which means they're ready for the next level of answer.

My first exposure was in San Francisco when my family and I were trying to drive through and encountered a Pride parade. My mom covered my eyes and my dad was grossed out. I don't remember what they said, but I remember how strongly they reacted. I grew up thinking it was wrong and perverted, and eventually figured out for myself that everyone's just human and some boys love boys and some girls love girls and why the hell should I have a problem with it? I just wish I'd never been taught to react so strongly at such a young age.

Good job, sir.

[khristle.livejournal.com]

In my opinion there is nothing more to it. In a perfect world this would be the end to the conversation. My strong opinions will come when I'll have to explain why some people are so homophobic and how people are being denied basic human rights based on a 2,000 year old book and icky feelings.

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

OMG now we need to print up a gazillion fake book covers to slip over the Bibles we find in hotel rooms, "2,000 YEAR OLD BOOK OF ICKY FEELINGS"!!!

[dagna76.livejournal.com]

Haha! Our experience was about the same.

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Yeah, not sure where the "Nightmare" comes in... the TRUE nightmare is when you have to try and explain why some people DON'T want people to love certain people!

[dagna76.livejournal.com]

I think Im coming from a much more conservative/churchy place than you are. She already had plenty of examples & references for that. What was hard for me was explaining why we see things differently & how that doesnt make us bad christians.

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

That's really tough when a kid sees people of their own "Family" congregation yelling hateful things and claiming that members of their own congregation are going to Hell for not hating the same people that THEY hate with the same amount of energy :(

Finding the right church can be really difficult, I have a Christian friend who is STILL looking for the right flock to join!

[dagna76.livejournal.com]

Thats a really rough road. My family has not spoken to me since I left their cult several years ago. I studied hard after being excommunicated/shunned, and have officially left all organized religion, although my personal beliefs remain intact. Christian Anarchy, Im telling you! But food for thought for your friend - whenever the Bible speaks of "church," its speaking of the body of believers, not a Sunday social club filled with unecessary dogma and doctrine. I feel like you get a better quality of fellowship outside of organized religion because its not tainted by the masses. Its freeing, and I really hope your friend figures that out before the churches have them too hurt or confused.

Back on subject, the Greek & Hebrew translations in most "homosexual" verses actually say, "strange flesh," which would include anything outside of the box - pun totally intended. So unless these people have never masturbated or used birth control, they are equally guilty. And since whatever is sealed here will be sealed there, whatever punishment they see fit for "the gays," they will most likely end up enduring themselves. Im just saying. Plus, a lot of them use Old Testament verses, which only demonstrates their complete misunderstanding of the entire Story. No wonder they shunned me!

< /going deep >

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

To paraphrase a quote from the movie "Dogma" - God came up with a really great idea, then Man had to come along and screw it all up by basing Religion on it :)

The "Social Club" aspect of Church is the only part I really get - Super-Religious people are just Nerds (like me) who have a different fandom than I do. You're in to Harry Potter? That's cool, I never made it past the seocnd book but I really admire your dedication! Same for "Bible Thumpers". I read your book, it just wasn't my thing, but I'm glad your little fan club has weekly meetings and can even afford that swell clubhouse!

[dagna76.livejournal.com]

I love Dogma!! Alanis Morisette as God - priceless!