The HORROR of One Week Back On Facebook

[captain_slinky]

It was pointed out to me by sasjhwa that just a few days after I returned to my new, slim, pared-down version of Facebook (down from 400 friends to about 30), I had reverted to the traditional grunting single-line snark that passes for conversation there. I had devolved from my lofty holier-than-thou status to a mundane presence of snappy one-line complaints and trollish replies.

I spent far too much time this last couple of days scrolling back and cursing about how much I hate Facebook, kind of like being th fat guy at a buffet crying about how I can't stop over-eating :(

You wanna know what you missed by not seeing my Facebook posts? Here they are:

After a solid week-and-a-half actively avoiding Facebook, I think I've figured out how to make it work for me and suck a littl less of my soul with each log-in. I'm not gonna lie to you, Marge; MOST of you will be getting dropped from my News Feed :/

That was easier than I thought...

I think my biggest problem so far with the BBC's "Merlin (we just started watching) is that it FEELS very, very *American*. Like it could have been a UPN show that nobody knew about because it was on UPN.

The Westboro Baptist Church has gone too far this time. I may have to Unfriend them.

Michael Dyer was right in recommending the new Scooby Doo cartoon from Netflix - it's FANTASTIC! I had originally avoided it because of complaints from Jeremy C. Joseph, but I figure that was from a purely artistic/animator standpoint? Writing is superb! (It should be noted that the largest "conversation" I had on Facebook this week was over this post because Michael did NOT recommend the cartoon and Jeremy did NOT complain about it, and they both defended their honor valiantly)

All my best bowel movements happen in public restrooms. Right now I am delivering an Angry Fudge Turtle to the Seattle Aquarium!

Saturday and Sunday passes to PAX Prime procured for my bride and I by the quick-thinking Roy Corey, thank you!

How do bowling alleys always have such awesome bad food? This cheeseburger is delicious!

"Hotel Transylvania" was the reverse of my "Is That Kids Movie Good or Bad" rule... I was enjoying it quite a bit till they tacked on a 5-minute forced Rap Battle Dance Party at the end.

I think I'm going to give up watching one of my shows. They just keep having the same rehashed plot lines and killing off random characters for no good reason. So now that I'm giving up The ABC Nightly News, maybe I'll have time to rewatch Arrested Development...

Wow... "Community" hasn't been THIS good since the first half of the first season!

There were also a few reposts of videos and images that I'm ashamed of because, like I said before, it's like shouting in to a crowded room with no purpose other than getting attention and I can't BELIEVE how quick and easy it was to devolve in to my old patterns! Sure it was only a week, but dude IT WAS ONLY A WEEK! My self-righteousness should have still been fresh in my mind!

Half those posts were made from my phone while I was pooping.

Comments

[zombie1974.livejournal.com]

I see absolutely no problem here. I enjoy your facebook posts, and a lot of other people do too! You're using it exactly how you should be using it!

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

That's my problem, is that this IS exactly how it's supposed to be used, and it bothers me! It makes me *needy*. It makes me waste HOURS scrolling through my news feed looking for something to leave a witty reply to, or just staring blankly at the screen hoping sombody posts something before I can think of something witty to post as my "Status". It's like I'm sitting in the corner of a crowded room, eavesdropping, hoping I can overhear something that somebody says so I can try and butt in to the conversation and then occasionally just yelling in to the crowd (at no one in particular) "HEY HERE'S A THING I HATE AND A SARCASTIC COMMENT ABOUT IT!" in hopes that somebody will glance at me, acknowledge me, recognize my obvious comedic brilliance...

It feels *DESPERATE*. No, it makes ME feel desperate. That's better... it's most assuredly a YMMV situation, and it's a GREAT way to stay connected with/share with/interact with "The Masses"... I just can't handle it. It's the same reason I don't drink or smoke or do drugs, I'm sure... I'm afraid that I'll become addicted because I have a very addictive personality, and not in a GOOD way. I always take it WAY too far. I let it consume me. And really, I've got enough consumption in my life! Family, Comic Books, Disney Land, Sci-Fi, IRL Friends, Games... I don't NEED another addiction!

No. Strike that. I need to ACTIVELY AVOID another addiction.

[ukulele-hatter.livejournal.com]

sounds like you used Facebook the way it's supposed to. much better than me who replies to 1 in 100 posts i read and only post to wish everyone happy (fill in the current holiday here).

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

I *WISH* I could use Facebook like that! For me, I loathe myself when I'm begging for attention like that :(

[sasjhwa.livejournal.com]

Your experiment of staying away had to include a time of going back. Now you have data and data can lead to logical conclusions. Behold the power of science! Now get on that toilet and start thinking scientifically!

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

The experiment was indeed a success (see my reply to zombie1974 for details)! In a nut shell, Facebook is great, but I need to avoid it as much as possible.

[xerhino.livejournal.com]

Sounds like you've got a good strategy. Let facebook be facebook: shallow and noisy, but still good for a bit of socialization. LJ can fulfill the role of the serious (or non-serious) blog that lets your creativity really flourish. Speaking of which, when are we going to get another web cartoon (I say while hoping you don't ask me the same question).

[aurora77]

And yet your posts are higher quality than most of what I saw when I was on FB.

[plumxxjam.livejournal.com]

Your posts remind me of mine, except mine are mostly reshares of Andrew WK's stuff and I talk a lot about twerking for Jesus.