I'm terrible :(

[captain_slinky]

I yelled at Molly A LOT this morning, and I feel terrible about it mainly because there was no reason to really yell at her other than the fact that I've gone two nights in a row with very little sleep (stupid cough that's going around).

It started with something that was technically my fault - she hadn't done her Homework. Every day I pick her up from school, we come home and I make her do her homework *immediately* so we can then play and have fun the rest of the afternoon and evening. I usually have her gather all the completed homework and put it in her school folder, then put the school folder in her backpack and put her backpack someplace obvious (by my chair, by the door, on the kitchen table etc).

Last night I didn't pick her up from school; I didn't get home till about 6:30. I didn't check-up and make sure she had done her homework and put it in her backpack.

This morning was a mad rush around the house trying to locate her backpack and then discovering that she had NOT done her homework without me there to prompt her in to doing it. And so I raised my voice as to try and impart my disapproval of this situation.

Then she couldn't find her shoes, and I lost it. I YELLED at her because this is an ongoing battle where she just kicks them off in some obscure place and then expects me to find them for her because she forgot where they are. While she went searching, I yelled things at her to try and put some shame/fear in to her about being late for school.

I brushed her hair for her, fast and angry.

I made us drive to school in silence while I tried to calm down.

I told her that this isn't HER fault or MOMMY's fault or MY fault, this was something ALL OF US had done wrong because getting her homework done is OUR responsibility together.

I hate getting angry. I hate raising my voice and immediately regretting it :(

Comments

[valerie-valerah.livejournal.com]

Try not to beat yourself up for yelling. It's something we all eventually do when frustrated. I think that telling her the blame is collective and not on just one person was some awesome parenting, by the way. You expressed that what happened was wrong, but you didn't make her feel like a failure.

[penelopes-web.livejournal.com]

Sorry...been there, done that, hated myself for it too.
I honestly believe there isn't an adult alive who will look back and say, "I had awful parents because they got mad when my homework wasn't done"...it just shows you truly care...and we all have bad days - you can't be Superman everyday - once in awhile you have to send the suit out for dry-cleaning!
:))

[jillchristina.livejournal.com]

Give yourself some grace. It's also never too late to apologize. It's ok for our kids to know we're human and we make mistakes.

[khristle.livejournal.com]

This. You are wise Jill. It is good for Molly to see that we make mistakes and we take them seriously and are capable of apologizing and learning from our mistakes.

[aquatwo.livejournal.com]

I agree completely. We all have times when we're a little off. Own the mistake and move on to better things.