Setting The Record Straight RE: Santa Claus

[captain_slinky]

I appreciate (and adore) all the modern Christmas movies that try to explain Santa Claus and his ability to deliver toys to all the children of the world in one night, explanations that only raise more questions than they answer and inevitably end up on the old "You just have to believe" cop-out. Rocket-powered sleds that would melt Santa's flesh and incinerate the reindeer, infinitely large sacks of presents that would have to be larger than the largest ocean freighter to contain even a fraction of the presents needed, vast industrial complexes located in the North Pole with so many Christmas lights that it would be visible from outer-space... kids today are smarter than that. Kids today have Google Earth and Wikipedia and a culture where Science is finally getting recognition (Neil DeGrasse Tyson, Nikolai Tesla etc), Science Fiction is becoming Science FACT at an alarming rate - "Just Believe" doesn't cut it any more.

It's time for THE TRUTH, regardless of how hard it is to discuss with your kids.

Folks, it's time to tell your kids about parallel quantum dimensions.

IN A NUT SHELL, Parallel Quantum Dimensions, or "Many-Worlds Interpretation" is an interpretation of quantum mechanics that asserts the objective reality of the universal wavefunction and denies the actuality of wavefunction collapse. Many-worlds implies that all possible alternative histories and futures are real, each representing an actual "world" (or "universe"). Before Many-Worlds, reality had always been viewed as a single unfolding history. Many-worlds, however, views reality as a many-branched tree, wherein every possible quantum outcome is realized. The subjective appearance of wavefunction collapse is explained by the mechanism of quantum decoherence, which resolves all of the correlation paradoxes of quantum theory, such as the EPR paradox and Schrodinger's cat, since every possible outcome of every event defines or exists in its own "history" or "world". All Santa has to do (as the impartial observer of all quantum states) is combine the results from each of the infinite parallel quantum dimensions and then populate all possible outcomes in to a single end-state.

Yes, it's really THAT SIMPLE!

North Pole workshop? In a different quantum dimension where they don't even HAVE a Christmas.
Flying reindeer? Common occurrence in roughly half the realities.
Sleigh full of presents? He only has to bring presents for *you* (the observer of the end-state quantum being).
Travel all over the world in one night? He only has to make it from the North Pole to a single destination before dawn.
Not EVERY child gets a present? That's based upon the quantum reality that YOU'RE observing.

Comments

[xerhino.livejournal.com]

I agree. I always figured he used a quantum state. He could be in all houses simultaneously or none. Sort of like Schroedinger's cat. Until you go to the stockings they are both empty and filled.

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Exactly! And Schrodinger's box is full of candy canes!

[plumxxjam.livejournal.com]

...If I ever have children, this is the explanation they get for the Yule Fae and/or Santa depending on which holiday becomes a bigger deal in my household.

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

I would be honored if/when that happens :)

[aurora77]

Love it! And remember, it's easy to prove the existence of something, but nigh on impossible to prove its non-existence. Long live Santa Claus!

[valerie-valerah.livejournal.com]

Seems legit.