captain_slinky | Dumbo is HARD CORE like a TARANTINO REVENGE FANTASY FLICK!

Molly and I are staying up late tonight and watching the Walt Disney classic, Dumbo. Have you ever taken a minute to think of just how BAD-ASS this film is?

Born to an unwed showgirl, he is quickly given a mean-spirited nick-name based on his obvious physical deformity.

His mother goes mad and beats the crap out of a CROWD of thugs to protect her child, and ends up locked up for life.

The trauma of this event leaves him mute for the rest of his life.

Those who should protect him choose to instead shun him, leaving him to be raised by a RAT.

He is given the most degrading job in the entire Circus, ASSISTANT CLOWN. Dress him up in a funny hat and frilly collar, endanger him with stupid stunts every night.

He starts drinking, heavily enough to have hallucinations and black-outs.

Then a group of street-wise "Crows" show him that he has a special talent, and he goes back to the circus where he then kills all the clowns and all the elephants and everyone whoever laughed at him (well okay he just humiliates them and shoots them all with machine gun-style peanuts, but c'mon... he totally killed them all).

And then THE CLINCHER, the part that makes him HARD CORE, is that after his Mom is released and he's rich and everyone respects him and he could make everybody call him "Sir" and he could wear the finest Armani suits, you know what he does?

He insists that everybody still call him "Dumbo" and that he keep wearing the pointy clown hat with the ruffles. "Laugh NOW, Mutha! Go on, LAUGH! Yeah, not so FUNNY now, is it?"