My new slur!

Finally found a nice, non-racial, non-offensive slur that I can use at home OR in the work place!

MOOK!

At first I thought it was a racial slur of some sort or at the very least a derogatory term, but NO! it's clear-and-free, baby! I can openly call someone a Mook and know WITHOUT A DOUBT that I am offending them by my actions and intonation, not just because they have a personal gripe against a certain word I may have used!

WHen I want to offend you, it's because I want you to be offended by ME, not by the connotation of my words. You got that, you stupid mook?

Tales of Teh Stupid

Two times tonight I have been struck silent by the idiocy of the mooks I gotta help with their internet connections. TWICE IN ONE NIGHT! That could prove fatal! Without delving too far in to each issue, here are the lines that left me unable to speak:

MOOK #1: "Type it? Where... on my keyboard?"

...and...

MOOK #2: "Dubbya-dubbya-dubbya-dot... what was it now? Micro... soft? What's that? How do you spell that? M-I-R...?"

Work Post #1

I have a feeling there will be a lot of these mooks tonight, so here's the first one:

An "English-as-a-second-language" customer called in with internet connectivity problems, and as part of the trouble-shooting I told him to shut-down the computer. But he nmisheard me and exclaimed "YOU WANT ME TO SH*T ON MY COMPUTER?!?!?!?"

Workpost #2

ME: "Okay, we're gonna type in there ESS-EMM-TEE-PEE... that's ESS as in SAM, EMM as in MOUNTAIN, TEE as in TELEVISION and PEE as in PEOPLE."

HIM: "WHAT WAS THAT LAST LETTER AGAIN? WAS IT A DEE OR A VEE?."

ME: "Oh, no! It was the letter PEE, like the first letter of the word PEOPLE. Sorry, I must have not have -"

HIM: "DEE LIKE IN DOG? THE WORD DOG?"

ME: "No, not... it's the letter PEE! Like in PEEOPLE, or PIE, or... uhm... PENNSYLVANIA. You know, ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO and then the next letter in the alphabet is..."

HIM: "..."

ME: "ELL-EMM-ENN-OH..."

ME: "...I'M SORRY, YOU LOST ME. I'M KINDA OLD. CAN WE START OVER?"

Idea (Partially Stolen)

Semi-inspired by the business model that freydis has come up with, I've got a mad/phat idea for Ebay.

I wanna sell "Care Packages from Home".

And what do you GET in your Care Package from Home?

• 1 Dozen home-baked cookies
• A letter from "Mom" telling you all about how things are going "back home"
• Three comic books
• A letter that "Mom" forced your younger sibling to write to you
• 3 to 5 pictures of your "Family" members notated on the back to let you know who they are.

I think it would be real fun to get one of these in the mail, maybe even have it delivered to your work place. Fun, but in a sad sort of way... not everybody gets care packages from home after all, so somebody should take up the slack and offer this valuable service!