Captain Kidd's All-You-Can-Keep-Down $8.99 Buffet COUPON?!?!?

As I was obsessive-compulsively dream-planning our next trip to Disneyland (end of January, fingers crossed!!!), I found myself internet-tripping over to the Captain Kidd's All-You-Can-Eat $8.99 Buffet website.

If you are not familiar with Captain Kidd's Buffet, congratulations! Strategically located *directly* across from the S. Harbor Main Gate Entrance to Disneyland, their giant 2-story "ALL YOU CAN EAT FOR $8.99" sign draws in frugal tourists who were weary of the $12 cheeseburgers found inside the park. For the price of a half-cup of crushed ice inside Disneyland (approximate cost), you can feed the whole family!

Yeah, but you get to feed your family *this*:


It's like all the people who were ever fired from working at a school cafeteria or in a prison kitchen all said "FINE! Take your high standards and your moral superiority and your unwilling-to-use-horse-meat ways and SHOVE THEM! We're opening a buffet at DISNEYLAND!"

We ate there once - ONCE. From the slightly-above-room-temperature Sushi to the dollar-store breaded "Chick'n" patties (not to be associated in any way with actual CHICKEN per legal notification from the USDA), it was just terrible. That night and the following morning I experienced some of the most perilous bowel movements of my entire life - and that's saying quite a lot!

So anywho, back to the reason I originally decided to make this post. As I was looking at the Captain Kidd's All-You-Can-Eat $8.99 Buffet Website, I noticed a link for COUPONS!

Despite the giant $8.99 sign outside, they actually have different prices for different times of the day. Breakfast is actually $8.69, "Lunch" till 4pm is $9.29 and then after 4pm is $10.29... but with the COUPON, you can get BREAKFAST for just $7.99!!!

Not sure who was behind that, which tourists they polled to come to the conclusion that what would really improve the public view of their slop is a 70-cent discount - "Well sure the Noodles With Slices Of American Cheese Melted On Top looks good, and the idea of eating as much Jello as I like for breakfast sounds like heaven, and I do love me some stale baked french fries with fish sticks... but isn't 8 bucks kind of pricey? Now, if there was a coupon that made it, say... $7.50 instead of 8 bucks? NOW we're TALKIN'!"

More On Buffets

As a "Man Of Size", I am no stranger to The Buffet. Matter of fact, I like to think of myself as a bit of an expert! This is why I feel it's my duty to present to you... THE FIVE BASIC KINDS OF BUFFET RESTAURANTS

• THE ETHNIC BUFFET - Here in the greater Pacific North West, it's usually an Asian Buffet but you'll also see the occasional Thai Buffet, Indian Buffet, Mexican Buffet and... yeah, that's about it. They are full of bland versions of Ethnic delicacies made for folks with xenophobic stomachs that would rather not go to a restaurant where they have to blind-order off of a menu full of foreign words. They want to SEE the food, put a tiny bit on their plate and then say "Ooh that was good what was that?" They can then order that dish at an actual Ethnic restaurant and be repulsed by how it's actually supposed to taste. They always have at least ONE TABLE of "American Food" which is usually French Fries, Macaroni & Cheese, Mashed Potatoes, Corn and a frozen "Pizza".
  
  
• THE HOME-STYLE BUFFET - Usually part of a chain of buffets (such as "Old Country Buffet" and "Golden Coral"), three quarters of this buffet will be dedicated to Salad Bar and Dessert Bar. The remaining 1/4 will be dedicated to the Meat Station where they have a college kid carve up a slice of "Prime Rib" and/or Ham and/or Turkey and/or "Salmon", and their "Theme Night" table - these places LOVE Theme Nights! BBQ Rib Night, Oriental Cuisine Night, Italian Night, Breakfast-For-Dinner Night, Seafood Night... all these dishes are every bit as good as anything you can find in the freezer section of your local grocery store. If you received food like this at a regular restaurant, you'd send it back and demand a refund - but HERE where it's All You Can Eat? Great for when you're hungry and think you don't care about what you eat as long as you get to eat SOMETING, because this will remind you that oh, yeah, you DO have standards after all.
  
  
• THE REALLY GOOD BUFFET - Quite a bit more costly than your average buffet, like $25 to $30 more per person than the Home-Style Buffet, but completely worth it. Hand-rolled Sushi bar, steaks cooked to order, tableside dessert cart, attendants at every steam table ready to answer any questions... and the drinks cost extra. Closes within a year of opening, so don't get attached.
  
  
• THE FRIENDS FAVORITE BUFFET - You're in town and your friend has been RAVING about this new Buffet, and you try to explain how it has to be one of the existing sub-genres of Buffet, but they insist that THIS ONE is different - Authentic Ethnic cuisine and a hearty helping of standard American grub with a great Dessert bar and free drink refills and OH THE PRICE! SO REASONABLE! ANd so you'll go, and so you'll eat, and on the way out your friend will say "I swear, it used to be so much better... sorry..."
  
  
• THE PIZZA BUFFET - The only Buffet that is truly dependable regardless of where you go, because only Pizza Restaurants have a Pizza Buffet. You're not going to get a warmed-up frozen pizza like you'd find on the American Table, you're going to get REAL PIZZA - a very wide variety of real pizza to be exact, including pizzas you'd never try when it costs $18 for a large! At $7 for the Lunch Buffet, you'll always find something wonderful even if it's just good old fashioned Cheese Pizza!