How did it happen?!?!?
Feb. 24th, 2006 11:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
captain_slinkySo this guy calls in, needs "Further Assistance" with his new computer and internet.
Mind you, we only handle the INTERNET end of things, but I was more than willing to lend him my limited computer knowledge.
SO ends up the guy has been teaching himself how to build computers, only he's doing it kinda Hillbillie-style. That is to say that he makes it so it *looks* like it'll work, but not really doing any of the inner work to really MAKE it work.
He started out with 4 broken computers - 2 old 486's, a Pentium 2 and an old IBM Laptop circa 1996 or so (because the lable on the laptop said "Property Glenn Construction Ink 1996). And really, that's all the information I have on the equipment he was using.
Over the past two years he has taken each computer completely apart and started fitting the "shinniest" pieces in to the tower with the P2. And by sheer LUCK this week, on Wednesday, when he plugged in the monstrosity it didn't just smell like burning ozone and make the annoying "BIOS ERROR" beeping - it smelled like burning ozone AND THE MONITOR LIT UP! Windows 98 was booting in to Safe Mode!
So of course, first thing he did was rush right out to Best Buy and get him a Self install kit for High-Speed Internet!
So anyways, that's the back story. Fast forward to tonight, Friday the 24th, 40 minutes in to my conversation with him. I have enjoyed several instances of hearing "VZPT!" followed by "Whoa... hold on...". I have enjoyed lots of "Well how about if I click on this here "Start" button? That gonna start my innernet?" and of course lots of "Well I've got another one of them fat-phone-cord-thingees in this other computer! Hang on...", but now I grow tired of him.
I'm tired of telling him "No, putting the AOL cd in your computer isn't going to fix it".
I'm tired of saying "Yeah you can try switching it to a different monitor, but that's won't fix your Fatal Errors".
And most of all, I'm tired of him doing things that have nothing to do with what I'm telling him to do!
ME: "Okay sir, go ahead and right-click on your 'My Computer' icon and-"
HIM: "Uh.... it says 'WOULD-YOU-LIKE-TO-MAKE-OUTLOOK-EXPRESS-YOUR-DEFAULT-MAIL-CLIENT' here... what does that mean?"
ME: "You, uh.... you clicked on the 'Outlook Express' icon again, didn't you."
HIM: "Well yeah, I just kinda wanted to see if I could-"
ME: "NO! Like I said the last four times, OUTLOOK EXPRESS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR NETWORK CARD! NOTHING! NADDA! ZIP! When you have problems with your car not starting, do you start by checking the hubcaps?"
HIM: "Noooooo..."
ME: "Do the hubcaps have anything at all to do with if your car will start?"
HIM: "I guess not..."
ME: "That's right! It has NOTHING to do with if your car will start! Well right now your COMPUTER is likie a car that won't start, and you keep going back to check the hubcaps! We need to stay FOCUSED, okay? We CAN get through this if you don't keep going off on tangents! Are you with me?"
HIM: "..."
HIM: "...So... 'Yes' I want to make OUtlook Express my default mail client?"
Mind you, we only handle the INTERNET end of things, but I was more than willing to lend him my limited computer knowledge.
SO ends up the guy has been teaching himself how to build computers, only he's doing it kinda Hillbillie-style. That is to say that he makes it so it *looks* like it'll work, but not really doing any of the inner work to really MAKE it work.
He started out with 4 broken computers - 2 old 486's, a Pentium 2 and an old IBM Laptop circa 1996 or so (because the lable on the laptop said "Property Glenn Construction Ink 1996). And really, that's all the information I have on the equipment he was using.
Over the past two years he has taken each computer completely apart and started fitting the "shinniest" pieces in to the tower with the P2. And by sheer LUCK this week, on Wednesday, when he plugged in the monstrosity it didn't just smell like burning ozone and make the annoying "BIOS ERROR" beeping - it smelled like burning ozone AND THE MONITOR LIT UP! Windows 98 was booting in to Safe Mode!
So of course, first thing he did was rush right out to Best Buy and get him a Self install kit for High-Speed Internet!
So anyways, that's the back story. Fast forward to tonight, Friday the 24th, 40 minutes in to my conversation with him. I have enjoyed several instances of hearing "VZPT!" followed by "Whoa... hold on...". I have enjoyed lots of "Well how about if I click on this here "Start" button? That gonna start my innernet?" and of course lots of "Well I've got another one of them fat-phone-cord-thingees in this other computer! Hang on...", but now I grow tired of him.
I'm tired of telling him "No, putting the AOL cd in your computer isn't going to fix it".
I'm tired of saying "Yeah you can try switching it to a different monitor, but that's won't fix your Fatal Errors".
And most of all, I'm tired of him doing things that have nothing to do with what I'm telling him to do!
ME: "Okay sir, go ahead and right-click on your 'My Computer' icon and-"
HIM: "Uh.... it says 'WOULD-YOU-LIKE-TO-MAKE-OUTLOOK-EXPRESS-YOUR-DEFAULT-MAIL-CLIENT' here... what does that mean?"
ME: "You, uh.... you clicked on the 'Outlook Express' icon again, didn't you."
HIM: "Well yeah, I just kinda wanted to see if I could-"
ME: "NO! Like I said the last four times, OUTLOOK EXPRESS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR NETWORK CARD! NOTHING! NADDA! ZIP! When you have problems with your car not starting, do you start by checking the hubcaps?"
HIM: "Noooooo..."
ME: "Do the hubcaps have anything at all to do with if your car will start?"
HIM: "I guess not..."
ME: "That's right! It has NOTHING to do with if your car will start! Well right now your COMPUTER is likie a car that won't start, and you keep going back to check the hubcaps! We need to stay FOCUSED, okay? We CAN get through this if you don't keep going off on tangents! Are you with me?"
HIM: "..."
HIM: "...So... 'Yes' I want to make OUtlook Express my default mail client?"
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no subject
Date: 2006-02-26 10:56 am (UTC)And... did he REALLY say he'd been chosing parts based on whether they were shiny or not?
.... 'cause if he did, i'm going to have to put my face in a stripped down tower & cry.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-26 09:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-27 01:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-09 11:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-09 11:57 pm (UTC)So far the only sure thing we have is "By 2008". We're not one of the test markets, but we ARE one of the "First Wave" that will get it when they roll it out coast-to-coast.