A Short List of Holiday terms That I Feel Are Too Sexually Suggestive for The Holiday Season

[captain_slinky]

Could also be titled "Holiday Phrases that sound obscene when said in a sexy, seductive way". Either way, these terms should be BANNED from Christmas FOREVER... for the children...

• "Stocking Stuffers"
• "Putting the angel on top of the tree"
• "Figgy Pudding"
• "Xmas"
• "Tannenbaum" (it's German)
• "Trimming the Tree"
• "Hand-Blown Ornament"
• "Putting the Baby Jesus in The Manger"
• "Fa-La-La-La-La" (just sounds kinda Gay, and we don't want The Children exposed to that do we? They'll force teachers to teach it in school!)
• "Egg Nog"
• "Round Yon Virgin"
• "Yule Log"

(It helps if you read the whole list with a thick New Jersey "Joey Buttafucco" accent)

Comments

[tyleet99.livejournal.com]

teehee. Combine them to make even worse. "I'd like to stuff your stocking with my yule log."

'course, that also doesn't make a terrible amount of sense, either.

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Also becomes worse if you say it like an old burnt-out prostitute. "For twenny dollas you get two stocking stuffers and a Baby Jesus in the manger. And don't even ask for a Yule Log... I don't do that kinky stuff."

[pastilla.livejournal.com]

"Christmas goose" is another one. For shame!

[zachary-cole.livejournal.com]

Aw crap. I always say "Round young virgin..."

[thecookielady.livejournal.com]

Don't feel bad. I woulda swore it was "brown young virgin".

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

"Ground-up Sturgeon"

*falls over giggling*

[firefly-pink.livejournal.com]

!!


"Thumpetty thump thump,thumpety thump thump,Look at Frosty go"

"The stockings were hung" - 'twas the night before christmas

"In fields where they lay keeping their sheep" - Noel

Nutcracker Suite!

Santa's "Secret" Village

I could do more.. but I won't *wink*

Re: *falls over giggling*

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Oh, but you SHOULD do more... you have a GIFT!

[thecookielady.livejournal.com]

You forgot:

Hangin' the tinsil

Reindeer Games... Just *what* are they up to, anyway? Hmmm?

Riding Santa's sleigh

Flocking the tree

Ma in her kercheif and I in my cap... Um, where are the rest of their clothes??

And let us not forget the infamous North Pole!

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

I almost put the the word "Dildo" right in the middle of my list, but then realized that might just be a holiday tradition in *my* house...