Getting an early start on all that Holiday Depression

[captain_slinky]

This week has been a huge reminder that being The Primary Care-Giver for a child is the LEAST APPRECIATED JOB EVAR. Molly absolutely LOVES Mommy and tells her as much several times a day. Molly at the very best TOLERATES Daddy and will take time out of her busy schedule in order to tell me that I'm mean, she doesn't like me and that she wants me to go away :(

This is the curse of being the only person with her for a good 75% of her day. I spend a lot of time loving her and playing with her, but I also spend a lot of time "ignoring" her so I cna clean and/or disciplining her.

Mathematically speaking, she's correct; I *AM* "Meaner" than Mommy, by shear volume alone... even if percentage-wise Mommy has MUCH more discipline under her reign.

Crystal has 10 Gallons of Mean in a 20-gallon bucket, whereas I have 80 Gallons of mean in a 1OOO Gallon Container.

Talking to my Mom about it this morning really helped, though... she made it through four different kids telling her tht she was a terrible person and that they could hardly wait for Daddy to get home.

Comments

[ellison.livejournal.com]

That sounds so hard! Hang in there!!

One time I told my dad to "shut up" in a pretty vicious tone, and my mom told me that I hurt Daddy's feelings and I should go say sorry. I remember thinking, "Daddy has FEELINGS?" haha! And I was so baffled and felt so bad that I went over and said sorry (even though that was embarrassing and I didn't want to), and then I was careful what I said to him after that. It's not much comfort in the moment, I'm sure, but someday, as you teach your daughter, she'll grasp that you have feelings and that words can be hurtful and she'll be a bit more careful. (I think, I hope!)

[teegin.livejournal.com]

I could come over with my new chainsaw and hockey mask and show her your not so bad.

[nani-ka.livejournal.com]

Molly is a little kid. She'd probably think that was the most fun thing EVER.

[teegin.livejournal.com]

Well then that settles it Slinky needs a new hockey mask and chainsaw for x-mas.

[lynna12000.livejournal.com]

And yets, when her first boyfriend is mean to her, you will be the first person she goes to for help in revenge. After all, who better to ask than the meanest person she knows?

[thecookielady.livejournal.com]

Just wait until she's a bit older and informs you that she hates you.

Kaiti and I went through this the last time when she was about 6. She screamed at me and said "I HATE you! You're the worst mommy ever!".

To which I replied, "That's ok, I don't really like you right now either... But I still love you." and gave her a big hug. Her jaw just about hit the floor.

It led to a great conversation about how it's ok that she doesn't like me all the time and that sometimes even mommy's don't like their kids. But that doesn't mean they don't still love each other.

I think it's important for kids to know that it's ok to be angry with a grown up and that it doesn't mean that the adult doesn't still love them.. just as it's ok for the adult to be angry with the kids and still love them.

Kids are a major pain in the butt. If we didn't get angry out loud once in awhile we'd explode :)