Bolstering My Suspension

[captain_slinky]

Molly's current Cinematic Obsession is "Hotel Transylvania". It's not as horrible as I had expected an Adam Sandler Kids Film would be. Dracula as a single Dad, raising a teenage vampire girl, running a hotel for Monsters. It's funny, it's sweet, it's remarkably non-insulting... but I have a problem with it.

The story implies that Dracula had a baby with a Vampire Lady who was then killed by a mob of Angry Villagers. Dracula then raised the Vampire Baby, from INFANCY (complete with adorable baby, toddler and little-kid vampire grow-up montage back story bits where she first learns to turn in to a bat, learns to climb walls, etc) to the ripe old age of one-hundred-eighteen years old, where she is finally old enough to leave the Castle/Hotel.

She LOOKS 18 years old.

Accepted Vampire mythology states two things that make this an impossibility. FIRST, Vampires can't make babies and SECOND, you "freeze" looking whatever you age you were when you were first turned in to a vampire.

I am willing to suspend my disbelief, but this chronal irregularity MUST be solved first!

If her aging is just decelerated so that she doesn't look 18 till she's 118, that means that Vampires are developmentally challenged. What regular humans would have been around for 40 years and still talk like a toddler?

If she aged at normal speed and then "froze" at 18, then she's been hanging around the castle/hotel for A HUNDRED YEARS with all these teenage emotions and longings bottling up, with no reasoning behind her getting to leave at age 118.

SO HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!?!?!

Comments

[aurora77]

I...

I...

*blink*

I give up.

[lynna12000.livejournal.com]

Vampires are actually are actually descendents of an alien race that crash landed on earth 10,000 years ago. With the help of technology, (long since lost) the aliens were able to interbreed with the local humans. The aliens came from a planet with an extremely erratic orbit. That, combined with the fact that the sun that the planet orbited was not a yellow sun, is partially responsible with the vampires' solar allergy & odd dietary requirements.

The vampires appear to age slower than humans due to their odd sleep cycles. During the first 100 to 200 years, vampire children will go into a dormant state that can last anywhere from 6 to 18 months. Eventually, the time between dormant states will increase until the children reach their physical maturity. At which time, the vampire will appear to be in their late teens to early 20's. The age of 118 is the average time that most Vampires reach physical maturity. Like their human cousins, mental and emotional maturity arrives at a different rate for each individual.

Hey, it's at LEAST as logical an explanation as how Spock came to be. I mean, really a hybrid of an alien race with copper based blood (Vulcans) and a race with iron based blood (Humans)?

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Saaaaaaaaay now... that works for me! They're Vampirella-style vampires! THANK YOU!!!