Super Pissed-Off
Jun. 16th, 2013 05:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
captain_slinkyI'm gonna put a spoiler-filled review of "Man Of Steel" here behind an LJ cut because (A) I'm a sweet guy who thinks you should be allowed to hate this movie on your own and (B) I think I hated the movie A LOT, and I'm not a fan of negativity.
First, though, I always have to say FIVE NICE THINGS about a movie before I'll allow myself to fully explore my bitterness. So the five good things about Man Of Steel:
1) I loved the casting.
2) The parts with Clark in Smallville were wonderful
3) It was a good, generic Sci-Fi story that really didn't need Superman.
4) Lots of very pretty CGI / Employed A LOT of special effects artists.
5) No matter what they do in TV and movies, I'll always have 75 years of REALLY GOOD Superman comics to enjoy.
So first of all, let's hit on what made it just a terrible movie, PERIOD. This isn't fanboy nit-picking here; this is legit complaints that would be hurled at any movie that tried to do this stuff.
1) HOLD THE DAMN CAMERA STILL!!! My buddy, Alex, once told me that the reason the current trend in CGI special effects is to fast-n-blurry "Hand Held" shaky-cam look is because those cuts make it much easier to cover up really bad CGI. In THIS movie, though, they only shaky parts were the non-CGI scenes! Stuff like "Just two folks talking to each other in close-up o you don't even see the background" scenes, with a camera shaking so hard you'd swear the cameraman had given up drinking straight Gin less than three days ago. Started in the very first scene and never stopped, EXCEPT for when it was an obvious CGI scene which was actually quite beautiful and steady and a welcome break from the fine cinematography of Jitters The Caffeine Monkey.
2) EXPOSITORY VOLLEYBALL!!! I rarely see this terrible bit of writing outside of B-movies and Blaxploitation films, but here it was in Man Of Steel. Four characters "Just Chatting" in the middle of the film to recap what has happened so far and what they will need to do next so the audience isn't too lost AND has a map of what's about to happen. Only the characters, they have no reason to be saying this stuff in this way. How many times do YOU get together with people and have exchanges like this:
3) Is that a Space Ship? OMG THAT'S A SPACE SHIP!!! The one bit of terrible CGI wa the old tried-and-true blur-zoom-focus for EVERY SPACE SHIP SCENE! I counted them using it at least 4 times, and that was only after I went "Man they're using that a lot!"
4) SO EPIC! I'm getting bored with every sci-fi and/or super hero movie having to be about the extinction of all mankind or the destruction of Earth - how about a nice, relatable hero who just fights real crimes and deal with that for once? The Marvel Universe works so well because each hero gets their own movie where thousands of lives may be at risk, but then when they all get together in an Avengers flick, THAT'S when we get epic.
5) NO LOVE FOR SUPERMAN. This movie, as experienced by everybody who's not one of the dozen-or-so main characters: Whoa something weird just happened to the lights and the TV. Whoa, something blew up outside! Wonder what that was? Uh-oh, earthquake! And now it's done. THE END. Nobody but a fistful of people even know Superman exists by the end of the movie, and that makes me sad :(
FANBOY GRIPES
1) Superman (traditional) is about hope and helping and responsibility. It's about how awesome it is to have a secret and to know that you're really the best there is but you won't ever show-off becaue you don't want to make people feel bad. Superman (movie) is all about paranoia and fear about being discovered.
2) Superman doesn't kill. Ever. I am SO PISSED about that!
3) Superman doesn't do juvenile, spiteful vandalism to get back at drunks who toss beer cans at him.
4) They couldn't decide if Superman's flying was a jumping-thing or a levitation-thing, and it was just confusing. Superman's flying SHOULD BE kind of like a regular human doe swimming, in a way.
5) Jonathan Kent's death was just stupid and completely avoidable, only put there to enforce the paranoia/fear aspect of having powers.
6) Superman should LOVE being Superman!!!
So in a nutshell, if you want a GOOD modern take on Superman? Read Mark Waid's "Superman: Birthright".
First, though, I always have to say FIVE NICE THINGS about a movie before I'll allow myself to fully explore my bitterness. So the five good things about Man Of Steel:
1) I loved the casting.
2) The parts with Clark in Smallville were wonderful
3) It was a good, generic Sci-Fi story that really didn't need Superman.
4) Lots of very pretty CGI / Employed A LOT of special effects artists.
5) No matter what they do in TV and movies, I'll always have 75 years of REALLY GOOD Superman comics to enjoy.
So first of all, let's hit on what made it just a terrible movie, PERIOD. This isn't fanboy nit-picking here; this is legit complaints that would be hurled at any movie that tried to do this stuff.
1) HOLD THE DAMN CAMERA STILL!!! My buddy, Alex, once told me that the reason the current trend in CGI special effects is to fast-n-blurry "Hand Held" shaky-cam look is because those cuts make it much easier to cover up really bad CGI. In THIS movie, though, they only shaky parts were the non-CGI scenes! Stuff like "Just two folks talking to each other in close-up o you don't even see the background" scenes, with a camera shaking so hard you'd swear the cameraman had given up drinking straight Gin less than three days ago. Started in the very first scene and never stopped, EXCEPT for when it was an obvious CGI scene which was actually quite beautiful and steady and a welcome break from the fine cinematography of Jitters The Caffeine Monkey.
2) EXPOSITORY VOLLEYBALL!!! I rarely see this terrible bit of writing outside of B-movies and Blaxploitation films, but here it was in Man Of Steel. Four characters "Just Chatting" in the middle of the film to recap what has happened so far and what they will need to do next so the audience isn't too lost AND has a map of what's about to happen. Only the characters, they have no reason to be saying this stuff in this way. How many times do YOU get together with people and have exchanges like this:
ME: I went to the store and bought some Peanut Butter.
PERSON 1: You also bought Jelly and Bread.
ME: Yes I did!
Person 2: So now you can make a Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich!
Person 3: You were talking about wanting a Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich earlier, weren't you?
ME: Yes, that is why I went to the store to buy Peanut Butter, Jelly and Bread. Now it's time to make the sandwich!
3) Is that a Space Ship? OMG THAT'S A SPACE SHIP!!! The one bit of terrible CGI wa the old tried-and-true blur-zoom-focus for EVERY SPACE SHIP SCENE! I counted them using it at least 4 times, and that was only after I went "Man they're using that a lot!"
4) SO EPIC! I'm getting bored with every sci-fi and/or super hero movie having to be about the extinction of all mankind or the destruction of Earth - how about a nice, relatable hero who just fights real crimes and deal with that for once? The Marvel Universe works so well because each hero gets their own movie where thousands of lives may be at risk, but then when they all get together in an Avengers flick, THAT'S when we get epic.
5) NO LOVE FOR SUPERMAN. This movie, as experienced by everybody who's not one of the dozen-or-so main characters: Whoa something weird just happened to the lights and the TV. Whoa, something blew up outside! Wonder what that was? Uh-oh, earthquake! And now it's done. THE END. Nobody but a fistful of people even know Superman exists by the end of the movie, and that makes me sad :(
FANBOY GRIPES
1) Superman (traditional) is about hope and helping and responsibility. It's about how awesome it is to have a secret and to know that you're really the best there is but you won't ever show-off becaue you don't want to make people feel bad. Superman (movie) is all about paranoia and fear about being discovered.
2) Superman doesn't kill. Ever. I am SO PISSED about that!
3) Superman doesn't do juvenile, spiteful vandalism to get back at drunks who toss beer cans at him.
4) They couldn't decide if Superman's flying was a jumping-thing or a levitation-thing, and it was just confusing. Superman's flying SHOULD BE kind of like a regular human doe swimming, in a way.
5) Jonathan Kent's death was just stupid and completely avoidable, only put there to enforce the paranoia/fear aspect of having powers.
6) Superman should LOVE being Superman!!!
So in a nutshell, if you want a GOOD modern take on Superman? Read Mark Waid's "Superman: Birthright".
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no subject
Date: 2013-06-17 03:30 am (UTC)I've always been more a fan of Marvel than DC, but I was hoping they would do the character more justice the way Nolans' first Batman did. THAT was awesome. But as many flaws as there were, it could have been SO much worse. Editing 20-30 minutes would have improved the movie. IF, and that is a BIG if, DC carries through with the rumored 'Justice League', they have a ways to go.
I also had a hard time believing Amy Adams as Lois Lane. She's a decent actress, just lacking the gravitas to play Lois. For someone who reputedly has been in active warzones, she seems to scream with great regularity.
Jor-El and Zod were the best part of the movie. I'd pay money to see a movie about the fall of Krypton, detailing how the two became friends, and what lead to their falling out.
Maybe DC will finally shell out the big bucks for Millers' 'Dark Knight Returns'. If only to watch an old Batman beat the daylights out of Superman.
no subject
Date: 2013-06-17 02:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-06-17 07:31 am (UTC)Shaky cam drives me NUTS! It should be banned along with overuse of lens flares and attempts to dramatically focus the camera. Every time I see the camera out of focus and then clumsily try to focus on the big space ship or whatever it pulls me out of the movie and I sit there saying to myself, "Goodbye suspension of disbelief."
Your PB&J dialogue has pissed off Mojo Jojo who feels that you are mocking him. There will be vengeance of a type that will be vengeful and ...yeah you get the picture.
Superman not killing is one of the lines that isn't supposed to be crossed. If it is it should only be because "HOLY CRAP! He had to or the universe would cease to exist and now he is going to exile himself because no punishment could be greater than what he gives himself." I don't know if there were consequences in the movie or not. I remember a number of years ago Wonder Woman killed Max Lord as the best choice of terrible choices. It was easy for her because she is from a warrior tradition rather than a law enforcement one like Superman and Batman but the consequences were vast and damaging. There was impact for the character that could be the whole plot of a movie.
no subject
Date: 2013-06-17 09:19 am (UTC)I almost hate to do this, but I'm going to play Devils' advocate.
Batman purportedly never kills either. But I remember a storyline that culminated with Batman locking the KGBeast (it was the late 80's) in an underground room with no way out. He left him there to die, in the dark; no food, water, or power. Gordon, and others in the Gotham PD knew about it, and did nothing. Batman may not have struck the killing blow, but he killed him just the same.
I think the point of the killing in the movie was the alternative was Zod destroying the Earth. Also, it showed that Kal-Ell, unlike the deceased High Council of Krypton, did have the ability to do the deed himself. Not to mention, Zod did hurt Clarks' mom. That's a big line to cross.
It could have been MUCH MUCH MUCH worse. Lois Lane could have been a male blogger named Louis Layne.
no subject
Date: 2013-06-17 02:32 pm (UTC)I don't agree that it could have been much much much worse... maybe one much, but not three. ANd even at one much, I'm hard-pressed to think of exctly *how* it could have been worse...
no subject
Date: 2013-06-17 02:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-06-18 02:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-06-18 02:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-06-18 02:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-06-18 02:39 am (UTC)