Really, she IS quite the bad little girl!
Aug. 18th, 2003 04:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
captain_slinkyMore about my Niece, Hannah (the 4-year-old, red-headed Princess Of Lies, Lord of Misrule, Orchestrator of the Damned):
ACTUAL CONVERSATION BETWEEN HANNAH AND HER MOTHER:
Hannah: "Mommy, can I have a friend spend the night tonight?"
Mommy: "No, Hannah... because all your friends are *scared* of you."
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Some little girls sleep with a dolly, a teddy-bear, or maybe a favorite blanky. Hannah sleeps with a plastic butcher knife under her bed.
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When we went camping with my Brother and his familly, Hannah liked to stare vacantly ahead and chant things such as "BURN THE CAMPER DOWN! BURN THE CAMPER DOWN!" or "DIS-A-SEM-BLE! DIS-A-SEM-BLE!"
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Hannah will NOT wear pants, or regular shoes, or real clothes. She wears a pink ballet outfit, a spaghetti-strap half-shirt, a Charlie Brown short skirt, and/or High Heels. Any combination of these things, mixed-and-matched several times a day. If you try to dress hr any differently, you WILL come away from the dispute bruised and/or bleeding.
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Hannah is very vain. Any reflective surface she can find is a great place for her to perform to. If she sees a mirror while she is talking to you, she will direct all her comments towards the mirror as she tries to look her most innocent and/or pretty.
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It is widely accepted in our family that Hannah will spend most of her teen years taking off her shirt for horny boys at parties who are chanting "HAN-NAH! HAN-NAH! WOOOOOO!!!"
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Her sister, Haley, has a "College Fund". Hannah has a matching fund called the "Bail and Therapy Fund".
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BEST / MOST DISTURBING HANNAH QUOTE:
She came prancing down the stairs wearing her halter top and mini-skirt. Plopper herself in to her daddy's lap, flung her arms around his neck, smiled wide and said "You know what you could do? you could pull up my little skirt, pull down my white little panties and spank my little butt!"
...And all the Frat Boys chant "HAN-NAH! HAN-NAH! WOOOOOOOO!"
ACTUAL CONVERSATION BETWEEN HANNAH AND HER MOTHER:
Hannah: "Mommy, can I have a friend spend the night tonight?"
Mommy: "No, Hannah... because all your friends are *scared* of you."
------------------------------
Some little girls sleep with a dolly, a teddy-bear, or maybe a favorite blanky. Hannah sleeps with a plastic butcher knife under her bed.
--------------------------------
When we went camping with my Brother and his familly, Hannah liked to stare vacantly ahead and chant things such as "BURN THE CAMPER DOWN! BURN THE CAMPER DOWN!" or "DIS-A-SEM-BLE! DIS-A-SEM-BLE!"
--------------------------------
Hannah will NOT wear pants, or regular shoes, or real clothes. She wears a pink ballet outfit, a spaghetti-strap half-shirt, a Charlie Brown short skirt, and/or High Heels. Any combination of these things, mixed-and-matched several times a day. If you try to dress hr any differently, you WILL come away from the dispute bruised and/or bleeding.
--------------------------------
Hannah is very vain. Any reflective surface she can find is a great place for her to perform to. If she sees a mirror while she is talking to you, she will direct all her comments towards the mirror as she tries to look her most innocent and/or pretty.
--------------------------------
It is widely accepted in our family that Hannah will spend most of her teen years taking off her shirt for horny boys at parties who are chanting "HAN-NAH! HAN-NAH! WOOOOOO!!!"
---------------------------------
Her sister, Haley, has a "College Fund". Hannah has a matching fund called the "Bail and Therapy Fund".
----------------------------------
BEST / MOST DISTURBING HANNAH QUOTE:
She came prancing down the stairs wearing her halter top and mini-skirt. Plopper herself in to her daddy's lap, flung her arms around his neck, smiled wide and said "You know what you could do? you could pull up my little skirt, pull down my white little panties and spank my little butt!"
...And all the Frat Boys chant "HAN-NAH! HAN-NAH! WOOOOOOOO!"
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no subject
Date: 2003-08-18 05:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-18 05:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-18 05:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-18 06:42 pm (UTC)I have one niece, four nephews. Paige is right smack in the middle of the pack, number 3 kid, middle child ("It's time to deploy the middle child!") and is about as gorgeous as little girls are allowed to be by law. She's 6, going on 21. She's a total riot, too. On our wedding day, as she was the self-volunteered flower girl (we had no say in the matter), she goes running out of the room where I had all my wedding gear stashed, holding my industrial strength Victoria's Secret longline seamless bra wrapped around her little body, doing this crazy "knees up Mother Brown" dance and singing in this high pitched freaky little voice "I'm Saaa-rah! I'm Saaa-rah! Oooo-OOoooo!"
Everyone stood around dumbfounded as she ditched the corset and ran off laughing maniaclly.
She's A-OK in my book. ;)
no subject
Date: 2003-08-18 06:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-18 08:15 pm (UTC)Naughty little Hannah
Date: 2003-08-19 05:58 am (UTC)I refuse to believe this child exists.
Date: 2003-11-09 03:50 pm (UTC)Re: I refuse to believe this child exists.
Date: 2003-11-09 04:40 pm (UTC)Scares me... I think she's up to something.