Parenting

[captain_slinky]

I am POSITIVE thaat I was never as difficult as this when I was a kid!

All day long I've been trying to get Molly to pick up her Tinker Toys. I have tried:

• Asking politely
• Asking firmly
• Trying to make it a game
• Helping/showing exactly what I want her to do
• Threatening to throw them away
• Telling tales of when *I* was a child and Grammy would lock me in my bedroom with no dinner and no bathroom till it was cleaned up
• Threatening to do the afore mentioned "Grammy Treatment"
• Offering rewards such as toys/candy
• Ignoring her till she cleans them up (the latest strategy)

So far, nothing has worked :(

Comments

[jillchristina.livejournal.com]

I'll just put my crazy and probably unpopular way of dealing with these things out there. Sometimes, quite often actually, I'll just pick up the mess myself. Now, this depends on my mood, the kids' moods, the size of the mess. But really, *for me*, it's sometimes just easier to deal with the mess myself than try to beg, cajole, punish, etc. the kids to help. Do some of their toys find their way to Goodwill every so often? You bet. Do they often help me of their own free will, with minimal discussion? Absolutely. There are certain times and certain messes I WILL make a stand about. But random junk laying about - a lot of the time I'll just clean it up. It's quicker, less hassle, and some day all these little bits and pieces of my childrens' lives won't be here anymore.

Good luck! Having an almost 4-year-old myself (in addition to my 7 1/2 yr old!), I can certainly appreciate the amount of work it takes to care for them and all their paraphernalia.

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

You're so right... I really need to stop listening to my Mom's paranoid concerns ("She has you wrapped around her little finger... you need to remind her that YOU are the parent and the one in charge") and just do what feels right. Thanks :)

[jillchristina.livejournal.com]

I also try to remind myself just how long my kids have been on the earth. If I'm still struggling to figure out this life at 35, what makes me think they know all the rules at almost 4 and 7 1/2? I don't always remember these things but this is certainly part of the parenting ideal I strive for. While there are some things that just need to happen "because I say so" there are tons of things that don't need to happen that way. Just because I'm bigger than my kids doesn't make me any more special than them.

FWIW, I think you and Crystal are great parents. You obviously adore Molly and it shows in all you do for her. No matter what your mom says. ;-)

[ellison.livejournal.com]

I do also agree with this technique. :) Not that I even have kids yet, just nieces. So maybe I can't speak from much experience. I have seen my sis in law do this with some messes, but if it's something really specific and it's already become a struggle, it's like she feels she can't/shouldn't back down at that point. But if it's something that got left out and it's bed time, she'll just clean up the kids' stuff after they go to bed.