Please reply...

[captain_slinky]

What three things do you expect you will see once you get to Hell (assuming that there IS a Heaven and a Hell regardless of your own personal beliefs or lack there of, and that NO ONE is perfect enough to make it in to Heaven)?

For me, it's

(1) Many Religious leaders going "Crap! I was wrong!"

(2) DJ Jazzy Strom Thurmond & His Funky Bunch spinning the tunes

(3) Pastel colors EVERYWHERE.

Comments

[zannah.livejournal.com]

Okay, I know that you didn't want me to go on this route, but... why does heaven exist if no one is perfect enough to get in to it? I mean. What a waste?

My idea of hell (in the theoretical sense, since I don't think I actually believe in hell) is like those Japanese coffin hotels, except that instead of vertical, it's horizontal. So everyone is standing with their heads poking out, instead of lying down. So when I say "there's a space for you in hell", usually I'm referring to a little plug-in space right between your two worst enemies.

Re:

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Heaven exists merely to mock us. IOt's like most of the stuff in the Shraper image catalog - very cool looking, and yes it exists, but no one actually owns it.

I like your interpretation of Hell! My vision of Hell has always been the waiting room of a dentists office. No muzak. Pastel colors EVERYWHERE. Only one place to sit, a couch. But it's one of those odd couches that is so pretty you're not sure if you're allowed to sit on it because it might be a piece of art or an antique. A few magazines are there that you hav absolutley NO interest in. And there is only one other person in the room with you. That person is the person that you are only nice to because he or she is the boyfriend/girlfriend of one of your closest frineds. Even though you really can't stand this person, you put up with them for the sak of your good friend. you know that person? yeah, she's there. And she dosn't know that the two of you are in Hell together; she just thinks you're both waiting for the same Dentist.

[daleth.livejournal.com]

Well, I think it's obvious that Bob Sagget is Satan, and the Olsen twins his two arch demons. I imagine hell will mostly consist of being forced to watch reruns of 90s family sitcoms.

[wrapper.livejournal.com]

Ice.

Re:

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

So... three things? Would that be Ice, Ice Cubes, and Snowballs?

[wrapper.livejournal.com]

Sounds good to me.

[all-new-me.livejournal.com]

1) Porn stars pointed at me and laughing. They are all wearing signs that say "you were never perfect enough to get into heaven and don't feel foolish because you could have been us"

2) Captain Kirk is the narrator and you have to listen to him all day long over the loudspeakers

3) only those that you find completely hideous are even remotely attracted to you.

Re:

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Ooh! And William Shatner would keep on throwing in his witty Star Trek refferences with pauses around them while he was narrating! "And if you would like to... BOLDLY... (smile) go where NO MAN... has gone before... (pause for appreciative giggles from Trekies) then you'll enjoy our view of The Pearly Gates from here!"

Hell, thou hast an MC. His name be Shatner.

[opaleyes.livejournal.com]

(1) The guy who invented all of the plastic and sticky wrappings that come on new CD's that it takes forever to get off.

(2) My orthodontist, waiting with lasers and wires

(3) 24 hour program of watching my ex boyfriend be all lovey dovey with his new girlfriend.

Re:

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Ooh. Number 3 hurts! "Coming up next on the Lovey-Dove network, 6 straight hours of him doing things for her that he never would have done for you! Then at 10 it's everybody's favorite Game Show, 'What's She Got That I Haven't Got?' Then stay tuned for 'All The Stuff That She Does That Should Totaly Piss Him Off But He Still Stays With Her'"

I may have to add that network to the cable line-up in *my* hell.

Re:

[opaleyes.livejournal.com]

Darn straight. I made the mistake of reading her Live Journal once and that's basically what I got. The worst of it was, it was not a week after we broke up. UUUGHH.

[all-new-me.livejournal.com]

Or worse! YOU are wrapped in that nasty CD wrapping that you can't get off.... and you have to PEE!!

Re:

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

I have no problems with urinating on myself when encased in clear clingy plastic. Don't ask how I know that. Just let it drop.

Re:

[all-new-me.livejournal.com]

*backs away very quickly*

Re:

[opaleyes.livejournal.com]

Oohh YIKES.

[flummoxicated.livejournal.com]

1. Horrible shag carpet, probably burnt orange - very bad interior design in general.
2. All the food you hate.
3. Scientologists.